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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor18 Dec 2017, 8:46 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Former-Member

Thanks for the reply it's good reading

Yeah relationships are very important. I think I consciously chose to be a better person and be there for my friends family and community more a few months back

However there is the elements of breaking trust and respect and confidentially and those types of things which I can be a bit giddy and inconsiderate with. Although I figure we all in the same boat with that one. And I think laying down boundaries and remaining yourself with whom ever is in your life is also key. It's easy for the balance of too much and not enough to get out of wack.

I like to think I've learned enough about social stuff from my troubled past to aid me In future. I think we all lack in areas. But social skills and knowing a social que are good traits to have.

For instance being a good host or a good visitor does take some practice and experience. If you know what I mean? I love being around people and being social. And it's usually under the condition of being a host or visiting and it's usually with the same people. Over stayed my welcome. Wasn't hospitable. And so on.

Your friend Eude

I fear I've burned my bridges with
far to many people In my life. Or is it they who should fear they have burned the bridges with me. Or is it just apart of finding ones way in life?

Also what are relationships really based around? I'd like to know.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember18 Dec 2017, 10:49 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hey @eudemonism

I like your reply...

friendships are a form of relationship between one or more people ..

in all aspects of our lives...

work..study..sport..hobbies..church..family..pets..neighbours..doctors and so on..

some boundaries are already there as in doctor patient different to friends whom we catch up with from time to time..

sometimes when friendships end it is just a time for the people concerned to move forward in their lives..

I don't have many close friends..I have several acquaintances where when well enough I catch up and chat...I talk about very little about myself ..just general stuff..

I discuss my I wellness with my specialist where I feel safe..

staying too long if a problem easily solved with..thanks for catch up ..I need to go now...can do this again sometime..

or are you staying too long? Don't want to be on your own perhaps..walk the dog..visit the beach ..

sometimes we worry about things that aren't an issue for others..

burning bridges yes can be a two way thing or more likely just you weren't as compatible as first thought..yes spending too long out of boredom is not the end of the world but can become irritating as you have mentioned experiencing before,,

sometimes it is just the person is having a bad day..

be friendly..considerate..thoughtful..caring..show an interest and always respect...be yourself..you have done all the thinking now time to practise slowly..

enjoy

how are your furry pets?

your friend mohill

take care as always

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember20 Dec 2017, 5:34 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

hello @eudemonism

just passing by and wondering how you are friend...

hope all well in your part of the world ...as well as it can be for this time of year..

speak when you can

mohill

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor21 Dec 2017, 11:38 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hello @Former-Member

Things happening left right and centre this time of year. Some good. Some bad. But it's all apart of life.

MISTER cut his back left foot in the yard yesterday. So took him to the vets. And it cost $500 to fix. Not exactly what I needed. But it's all done and over with now. So I'll be monitoring him very closely over over the next three weeks. Apart from that. Both me pets are doing good.

I thought to myself today. I have pulled away and hesitated to make and build new relationships after my brother died due to not wanting to get close to anybody and for no one to be close to me. So no loss and grief could occur again. Which was very hard to go through.

My grandma from mums side passed away yesterday. She made it to 80 odd years of age. It's sad to hear about people dying. Especially family. But nothing can really be done about it. Is just a fact of life.

I love me cigarettes. And I'm really feeling the pressure of the tobacco tax. In all areas of my life. Is actually quite stressful to be dealing with. Because there is no easy answer unfortunately.

I've got some close friends I'm relying on. And we're all good for one another. Plus numerous amounts of secondary supports if I need. So it does give me a sense of certainty. Security. And stability.

Christmas day is sorted will just be doing the usual thing. And dropping off a couple presents before the day arrives. Give family a call and maybe or maybe not visit them. Will just be another day for me.

Your friend Eude

I hope there is good news from your end and everything going reasonably well for yourself. Your pets and your family.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember22 Dec 2017, 12:24 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hello @eudemonism

good to hear from you..

how awful your dog cut his paw...great that you took him to the vets ...yes they are expensive..our pets are family though..some vets will let you pay in instalments..

..so sorry to hear about you losing your brother..

I don't recall hearing that you mentioned that before..very tragic..

loss of your grandmother recently also difficult..I seem to recall you talking about an uncle passing away also?

I am dealing with anxiety of upcoming loss of family members..never easy..

You are spot on about people not wanting to trust others ...be relaxed with others for fear of further loss and grief.

I feel in the brief period that I have known you that you are a deep thinker and are working through your feelings daily..

to myself..this is what I do..I too am a very deep thinker.

life and people whom we meet are an ongoing exercise in learning and experiencing life..

this is what you are doing

you are doing well..

I do hope that however you spend your time in the week ahead... That you find some enjoyment..peace..love..gratitude and appreciation..

I know that you are busy so only reply when able without pressure..I shall do the same..

take care my fiend eude..

mohill

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor23 Dec 2017, 8:33 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hello @Former-Member

I'm feeling very occupied with my mental health issues in a rather negative way. And it's been like this for many years now.

It's the same thinking patterns happening over and over again. And it's rather frustrating to go through. Especially when I feel it's being caused bye other people in my life and my only option is to suffer and get angry as a result.

I get caught up In other people's problems in the moment. And suffer greatly for this. Can't deal with problems I'm faced with in the heat of the moment. And it brings the rest of my life down.

Your friend Eude

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor23 Dec 2017, 8:57 pm AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hello again @Former-Member

I'm missing out on the little but important things. And struggling to maintain basics for a decent life. Or a better life. And again it's been happening for many years.

Not myself or anyone else is able to do anything about the problems I'm faced with. Although myself and they may want and try too. So just got to work with it.

I get lost In these really Intense scenarios which are pretty much all negative. And all derived from real life relationships. And I'm on the receiving end of some rather toxic patterns which I just don't deal with real well. And even if they are true. Nobody gonna do anything about it anyway. And it's bringing me down big time. So I just try to accept and work with it. But unfortunately I don't have much else to do with my life. And I resent that it has robbed me of what could of been. And robbing me of what could be. No point in asking someone for help with this scenario. Because it all comes back on myself. And apparently I'm mentally ill.

Your friend Eude

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember24 Dec 2017, 12:26 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

hello @eudemonism

I am so sorry that I did not see these messages earlier..

I checked twice today and saw no responses...my computer is playing up..I certainly would have responded earlier..

your description of what you are experiencing sounds so extremely difficult..

awful to feel caused by external influences and that there is nothing that you can do about it..

you have actually broken the pattern though...

you are writing on here and have been doing so for about four to five months I believe..

that is some achievement givien what you are repeatedly going through....you are achieving writing despite these obstacles...

you have a dog whom you take the greatest of care for...a cat who has had kittens..

you have purchased new items for your home...

you still have goals..

now is a rough time..

it is for many people..

different issues..obstacles..

we will get past this..

I have been very depressed again...then read some of Christmas is fun..thread..there are some humour oud cartoons on there..a couple made me laugh through

My tears..

I will be thinking of you my friend...

loyalty is another attribute tha you have and can add to the positive list of your attributes..

will try to speak again tomorrow

take care as always

your friend mohill

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Unknown userMember25 Dec 2017, 12:24 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism

hoping all ok in your world..

thinking of yyou at this time of year ...sending you thoughtso of peace ..hope and love..

have some fun..

speak soon ..when we both cam

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor26 Dec 2017, 8:55 am AEDT

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hello @Former-Member

Even if you can relate to what I'm saying and talk from your personal experience of such things. I would find that helpful.

It's always been the same story with me. The same stuff happening over and over again. Or the same stuff not happening over and over again?

I need that exercise. That activity. That social aspect. And goals to work toward. I need to be managing my stresses and in control of my own actions and be pointed in a positive direction. Otherwise I become extremely annoyed and start blaming and getting angry at the reasons behind why it's not happening for myself.

I try to be a friend for people and accommodate them into my life and after a while I start thinking. Stuff this. I'm just becoming another chess piece in their game of life and nobody doing it for me in return. And when my self care and my wellbeing suffer as a result I get wild. I got dozens of examples of this happening.

I make a good effort of changing for the better and than I'm met with people who stuff me up and sabotage me. And I'm getting hooked into thinking I need that and I got nothing else in my life. And eventually I just boil over and than their is this lack of them being held accountable. Which I'm left to deal with alone.

Your friend Eude

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