Coming to terms with reality

That doesn't go down well with me either @eudemonism Some people begin out as well meaning but don't have the necessary skills to actually help in some instances. Sometimes those who are not capable in some areas can actually do more harm than good.

I was the same with people and crowds - didn't like them and didn't feel comfortable around them. A year ago I wouldn't have gone to the pool at all - infact I wouldn't even have gone to the physio - the mere thought of anyone touching me or even being that close was unbearable - so I have come a long way. ...and like most things it has gotten easier with time. Today there were a lot of people in the pool but I tried to focus on just what I had to do and not on them. I have managed to get to a couple of meetings where there have been many people lately and have coped with those ok as well - all baby steps for some but massive for me.

It would be great if you could get to the gym and/or pool that often - the exercise itself is beneficial - maybe tak to the staff about when the quieter times are and work around those times.

I hope you enjoy your time with your friend - catch you later @eudemonism

Yea @Zoe7 I've noticed there is an anticlimax attached to most things these days. I've also noticed that all my problems fall back into the decisions I'm making.
Have you ever smoked, drank coffee or alcohol -Zoe?

Do you have many friends & what are they like?

Yeah done all three at some stage. I have never been a big coffee drinker - maybe one or two a year. I prefer hot chocolate than coffee. I will have a drink on a very rare occasion but mostly no. I did drink a little when I was younger and would go out with others but stopped that a long time ago. I will have a scotch every now and then when I go out for dinner but usually I just have water. As for smoking - still do that one and off - not easy to give up altogether that is for sure @eudemonism

I actually don't have friends - I have pretty much isolated myself for many years. I see my sister every couple of weeks and have aquaintances at work or through work but no-one I can call up to visit. I have a really good friend interstate but it is hard to call them to come around or for me to visit It does make any time we spend together extra special though.

Funnily enough I used to be the exact opposite @eudemonism - had some close friends that I used to spend a lot of time with. That all changed in my mid 20s and in my early 30s I started getting it back again - then work really took over and after a few not so good years (and people moving away) I went back to being isolated again and have pretty much stayed that way ever since. It is the safe option for me. There are only so many times you can be let down when something has to give and for me that was social interactions. The strangest thing is I can talk to anyone on any level and hold a conversation in just about any environment - I don't like it and often get quite anxious and therefore choose not to do it. I think we may see things quite similarly.

That balance is also at looking at both those things @eudemonism and finding a place you can sit in amongst it all. I think we often 'settle' for things as they are because we have been let down so often and that is not an ideal world. We can look at how we would like life to be but knowing also that there are some contrainsts often to making that happen. For example: I love teaching but understand that the job no longer is simply about having the kids in the class and teaching them - we have to do more paperwork and checks and balances than we ever did - teaching the kids is my passion but I have to still do the paperwork that goes along with it. In my ideal world I wouldn't have to do that but it is part f the job now and I am constrained often in doing what I would ideally like to do with the kids because of the paperwork involved.