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Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.
I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.
But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.
Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"
I pay a fee each fortnight which allows me to go as much as I like to that pool and 2 other bigger pools - one which is under cover and another that is outside but only open part of the year (late Spring and through Summer). Presently I go twice a week but I suspect once it begins getting warmer I will go more often... especially if I go back to work and there are warmer days I can stop in for a swim on the way home.
I do leave Toby at home when I go to the pool @eudemonism - he was sprawled out on the doona on the couch when I left and is back in nearly exactly the same position now lol
I think there are parts of the system that are very much broken Eude and there is definitely a huge gap when dealing with MH. Society does not see most things we suffer from here as illnesses and that is where we are often left out in the cold. There is a lot being done in reducing stigma but there is still a long way to go...and probably not something we will see in our lifetime which is both frustrating and sad!
In response to: Coming to terms with reality
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Sharing the wisdom within
You might actually like aspects of it. @eudemonism It started in Switzerland between the 2 european world wars as a social and artistic movement against violence and capitalism. Look it up. Some of it is silly, some of it is political and some of it is art.
In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within
eudemonismSenior Contributor
Re: Sharing the wisdom within
@Zoe7 yea i think I'm going to readjust my expectations surrounding how i feel about reality. Because I'm quite simply tired of being let down so much. (And having this clash against the expectations of my mind against the brutal facts of reality). And also readjust my expectations surrounding how i think i should be physically feeling, vs the brutal facts of truth about how I'm really physically feeling. And then I'm going to stop trying to change reality, so it suites me, and just accept it, and work with what i got... and also just accept the way I'm physically feeling, even though it's not real nice or good, and just do what i can to make it more comfortable and easier.. more bearable... and plus. I'm going to stop reaching out to people when I'm feeling very uneasy, unsettled and uncomfortable about everything that's out of my control. (Which seems to be the problem behind my suffering). Example. Reality... ( everything beyond my mind ) my body... (how i physically feel) it's a daily thing...
In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within
eudemonismSenior Contributor
Re: Sharing the wisdom within
What are we talking about @Appleblossom ?
In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: Sharing the wisdom within
Sometimes accepting reality is the hardest but wisest decision @eudemonism but that also does not mean that it can't be better or improve. It is when we allow ourselves to get stuck in negative patterns that we fll out of touch with reality the most I believe. Don't give up on seeking support Eude - because you, like everyone, deserve to have support. That can be as simple as a cuppa with a friend - all those little moments add up and make the day more pleasant. Even chatting here is a way for you to connect and get support - and we are pretty good at giving that when needed. I am more than happy for you to tag me when you need to reach out and if I am logged in will willingly chat with you - I actually have been enjoying our conversations over the last week If only the offline world was so easy though hey!
In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within
eudemonismSenior Contributor
Re: Sharing the wisdom within
@Zoe7 on a positive note. I returned some stuff i borrowed from friends these items have been sitting around for months, years on end. So it's a few less things i have to worry about. And i returned the last of the books I borrowed from library. So i no longer will have them hassling me. Plus mum and dad came around, they brought a pasty for lunch, i got stuck into that... then my niece came around... we talked for awhile and then mum became unsettled so they left. Mum and dad were feeling good because of their trip away and it rubbed off on me. And my niece is actually quite positive. For a moment, i didn't have to worry about myself or my problems. It was quite a relief actually. It was sad to see them go. Whenever i start talking about my problems to anyone. Example. Problems with reality and how I'm physically feeling, i quickly get shut down for some reason... i think it is that empathetic thing... so afterward i had a rest, and now just sitting quietly and comfortable. I let Misty in, so he could escape the kids playing next door. What type of stuff do you do at the pool? What are you up to now?
In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: Sharing the wisdom within
I think most people don't actually know how to listen when things are not alright @eudemonism Especially when it comes to family - as if the problems we are faced with are somehow a reflection on them also as our parents. Family can be super tricky!
I do mostly walking and stretching exercies in the pool to strengthen my back. I have several issues with my lower back but the exercises are definitely helping.
Right now I am on the forum and listening to the rain fall. I love the sound of rain (hate wind) but love rain.
In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within
eudemonismSenior Contributor
Re: Sharing the wisdom within
@Zoe7 yea spot on... i think the next time I'm going into an empathetic meltdown with one of my friends who is talking about problems/misfortunes I'm going to say. 'Maybe the problem is you?' Because it creates this atmosphere where i wanna talk negative As well... it's creates like this competitive nature, where the goal is to be more negative then the other person, and trying to defeat the problem with negative talk... lol. It's just not good the problem just gets bigger and bigger... Plus. I think my main problem with the professionals and the system, is they've adamantly and constantly tried to control me, and are controlling me, through medicine. Then i end up thinking to myself; why are they doing this? What have they achieved? And of course, it's become the centre of my life, and I'm living with the end results each day... and I'm thinking, this is really screwed up for myself... i guess you get the gist of what I'm saying... and of course, they don't wanna admit they're wrong, the don't wanna change their opinon, they don't wanna loose the battle... and neither do i...
In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: Sharing the wisdom within
So you are stuck in a no-win situation then it seems @eudemonism I think ith your friends becoming negative is a way to stop a conversation rather than develop it. ...but then being over empathetic can also get us stuck in a one way conversation and often our needs are not met either. Those situations are tricky - where there is more taking than giving and often the other person has no idea they are doing that.
In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within
eudemonismSenior Contributor
Re: Sharing the wisdom within
@Zoe7 yea i would love to go to the gym or pool 4-5 times a week. I'm trying to sort out a ndis package for myself which includes stuff like this. And gets me thinking and feeling good about myself again... But the problem is, I'm very sensitive toward the presence of other people, and am very easily deterred from places, after being spooked, (again this is my problem to bare) especially when it's in a competitive environment, or where there's loads of new people, and a subconscious expectation of everyone in the room. Yea nah, i really don't think very many people know how to listen, console or counsel. It becomes s case of, i don't wanna listen to this, it's your problem-not my problem... I'm open to discussing and talking about *finding practical solutions (that are my responsibility) for everything I'm dealing with.. the problem is finding people who listen to the problem, and then offer a practical solution... -so many times (I sincerely believe this), so many people have jumped aboard, and said, we'll contribute to your problems... we'll belittle and demean you- have a laugh at your expense.. -judge you in the process... and be sadistic about it.. It never goes down well with me...
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If only the offline world was so easy though hey!
