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Coming to terms with reality

eudemonismSenior Contributor02 Aug 2017, 7:01 pm AEST

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Zoe7Senior Contributor08 Oct 2018, 5:05 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Kids don't know they are being annoying @eudemonism but I understand how the noise gets to you. The last thing I needed in the school holidays was kids making noise - get enough of that at work lol

It has taken nearly 2 years to get the meds sorted and 'under control' and I can certainly feel the difference. There is a lot I still can't do but as my physical fitness improves I hope to be able to get back to some things I like.

Part of getting along with people is to recognise within yourself what annoys you and then to understand why you react that way. Often stress doesn't help us to tolerate those behaviours though and makes life difficult when confronted with those behaiours.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor08 Oct 2018, 5:51 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Yea @Zoe7 i suppose I'm looking for something, but can't quite workout, what I'm looking for. -I've been living in this gov unit for atound 9 years now, and i feel I've plateaued and there's nothing else for myself to do. -i am basically just surviving and existing. -everything that I've bern working toward does indeed feel very futile and vein. -i feel like i need a change, but have nowhere else to go. -i feel like i need a different meaning and purpose rather then just making it through each day.
As for getting annoyed and frustrated with people. It's rather pointless... because they're probably not going to care, and probably not going to change... Yea children are children... I'm just thinking do you really need to run up and down the fence line banging and clanging and disturbing the peace and stirring up my dog?
Plus. Every now and again. I'll think about making drastic changes to my environment. I'll think about moving the bedroom to another room. I'll think about completely changing the furniture around. Getting rid of a heap of stuff. Making it really basic and simple. I even think about getting rid of the car. Because of the responsibility and costs involved. I've been collecting and working toward all this material stuff. Example fridge. freezer. Tv. Washing machine. Car. Bbq. Couches. Beds. Tables & chairs. Coffee tables. Kitchen appliances utensils. Crockery. Cutlery. Chest of drawers. Bookshelves. Books music equipment. Computers. Phones. Clothes. Odds and ends fishing gear. And none of it really makes any difference. It all just complicated life. All of it has halved in value since i bought it. And here i am needing smokes and thinking what can i sell? It's ironic...

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Zoe7Senior Contributor08 Oct 2018, 6:13 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

We seem to accumulate a lot of 'things' along our journey @eudemonism - some more than others. Most people would say that nearly everything you mentioned are necessities of life - they certainly make life easier. When do you get paid Eude - it's tough not having money for things you want or need and I know you would be feeling more on edge without cigarettes.

I have managed to have a shower, out some washing on and get dinner underway - should be ready soon ...just needs to simmer away for a little while longer.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor08 Oct 2018, 6:29 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

I get paid in 7 days time @Zoe7 i bought another pouch with bottle and can money. I borrowed the bottles and cans off a friend.
I've also had a shower, i made a herbal tea, now just watching some tv.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Zoe7Senior Contributor08 Oct 2018, 6:46 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Oh wow - 7 days is a long time to wait for some money @eudemonism I am resuming you roll your own cigarettes - will you have enough to get you through?

Showered here too, dinner eaten - now just need to clean up -,that can wait a little while - resting with the tv on also. Going to watch The Block tonight and then try for an early night.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor08 Oct 2018, 7:01 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Zoe7 i was just daydreaming/ watching a show on ABC. Gonna chop some veggies. And put the steamer on.
Yea. Money is important. I'll work out what I'm gonna do when i run out.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Zoe7Senior Contributor08 Oct 2018, 7:17 pm AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Enjoy your veggies @eudemonism I love a bowl of steamed veggies - light, easy and refreshing.

I'm going to head off for a while now - put the washing on and watch a little tv - catch up with you later

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

AppleblossomSenior Contributor09 Oct 2018, 12:31 am AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Not diddly squat @eudemonism

Dada and improvisation ..

At the moment. I am extremely vulnerable.

Take Care

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor09 Oct 2018, 9:23 am AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

I don't know what dada means @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

eudemonismSenior Contributor09 Oct 2018, 9:40 am AEDT

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Appleblossom@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@Bunniekins@Former-Member@Sophia1@Shaz51@Hope4me

Anyone feel like chatting today?

Through the night i woke 4-5 times, which is quite a common occurrence, and to be quite frank, i really don't feel well at all during these moments@... does anyone else get the same thing?

I've already blamed the professionals for myself feeling the way i do today, and it makes me extremely angry! I'm literally over come with rage in a split second... because there genuinely seems to be a lack of care, support and help for myself to deal with this terrible predicament (which they've gotten me into, which they blame me for)

Plus. When I'm thinking about reaching out to people, (in general) and maintaining relationships, I'm overcome with a very strong sense of bitterness, anger and spite, because i literally feel like I'm getting wrongly screwed by all of them... which turns me away from them, and leaves me no other choice except isolating myself, which leads to depression...

And I've just completely let go of trying to achieve stuff for myself on an independent level. Because it just provokes to much anxiety. And is to hard to do alone...

What wonderful life...

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