Coming to terms with reality

Rest up @eudemonism - heading into my appointment now but will catch you later today/tonight

Sadly they were a mismatched couple ... he was too gentle ... his wife too strong ... she did not mean to be hard on him ... I feel a little responsible as I was working ... with warding off the dementia by getting him more active in music and with his intellect ... he could play piano etc ... Yesterday ... I just mucked around on piano ... and when he recognised a tune he would sing it out loud ... and then come and sit at piano ...and we swapped places ... but he had not cognitive ability to think about notes ... so he just put his hands on piano pressing keys .. but no music coming out ... it was sad ... getting mad at his wife ... would not help ... as she also tried to do the best she knew how ... I taught her too

The rest of the time ... he was walking around the edges of the walls and walking into corners ... it is what it is ... but I am glad they reduced his meds ... as the friend who drove me ... said that last week he was almost in dribbling mode ... whereas yesterday with me ... he was active and sociable ... he knew I was safe ... but he did not remember my name or role in his life ...

Last night I sat on train with new choir friends. They had replacement buses which is a nuisance, but I had pleasant company.

I am pleased I have made a new decision to youtube exercises and have to log off to do them ... have you got any plans ...

@eudemonism I met him in a choir when I was a conductor. Years later his wife took piano lessons with me, then more years and he started lessons, cos she was doing well. She was a total beginner whereas he had played as a teenager at church. He then played in aged care places for quite a few years ... spreading the love .... it is just the passage of time. So it is no use getting angry about, just quietly sad. I am alright. There was a beautiful gentleness in the way he was yesterday.

I am contemplating doing an aging course soon, so this might be an area for me to visit more.

Thanks Eude for asking and caring and figuring out some of the right questions to ask. It makes a difference to me. It has never been a given in my life. My parents were too disturbed to notice or ask. SO even though you are struggling, there is something about our friendship, in this moment in time, that has reached through various pains to caring enough about another person to notice and enquire ... helps me relax and unwind.

@eudemonism

I lost contact for a few years when they left the area, but another friend did the contact thing and offered to take me down. As I spent about 8 years seeing them very regularly and on friendly level as well as professional it just worked that way ... I also know his granddaughter ... they were both professional in the past, but retired when I met them.

I am a

never cut contact type and

always leave the door open.

My son thought he was teaching me how to "lock" doors but then the gorgeous soul, discovered there was a good side to that .. when one loses one's keys.

Pretty good, @eudemonism but I have to be realistic about the relationship losses and chronic back and neck pain. If I think too much about that I can get pretty angry ....

I am easily pleased and was optimistic when we moved into the housing commission flats when I was 10 cos we were starting to come together as a family after the big split.

I try to simplify things in a world gone complicated and crazy.