Coming to terms with reality

You may have a point @eudemonism so without breaking up your stability, are there small changes you can make that will help....

I cant stay and chat, but ...do something good for you ...

I agree with @Sophia1 in that changes often come out of a series of baby steps in a new direction, rather than taking a great leap ..... and there are reasons for that @eudemonism. One of those reasons is to develop and / or maintain balance as you go. Another is to consolidate pathways and learning ..... think brick by brick building ...... gradual ......

So try to think about a small change you can make

this week. It might be to focus on distraction when you are feeling overwhelmed and developing a list you can tape inside your wardrobe door or somewhere, where you can come and read through it to help you calm the wild feelings.

Next week maybe change what you are having for breakfast one morning, or start having a small breakfast if you tend to skip it .... so you’ve got nutrition helping to support your body chemistry.

Sleep, rest, time-out is another important area to help stabilise body chemistry. If sleep is not happening very well, then try to get rest and time-out steady first, and in a regular pattern.

I hope this helps. Just want you to know I am hearing you and thinking of you.

@eudemonism

I am so sorry that I could not stay online when you wrote that post ...opening up about how you feel that society and so many people in your life have treated you..still are treating you in the same manner...

My husband and I had an appointment with someone coming to our house which was important that we keep that commitment..

You are feeling such intense pain at the moment from carrying around such a heavy load of hurt...anger...guilt...grief...sorrow and much more...

You are human and eventually your mind lets you know enough..

Judging ourselves ...continually punishing ourselves...carrying guilt is not helpful at all...

concerning ourselves with what other's think is also not helpful...

You are a worthwhile..wonderful young man who has punished himself for far too long..

anyone who is continuing to judge you is most definitely not worth listening to..

please talk to someone at a professional level to allow some much needed care...

I think that you are struggling with too much for anyone at the moment and must not punish yourself any more....

Is there anyone in your world whom you can trust who will have your best interests in mind?

From reading what you shared, @eudemonism, this is the way I see it,-

1. The people concerned, need to want to stop, drinking, using drugs, & smoking like you, have decided.

2. They do not want to, & are addicted, & living with the consequences of their addictions.

3.You do not want them in your life with there addictions, as they treat you bad some times, because of it.

4. You want them to stop treating you bad, & behave, & appreciate you, & respect you.

5. If you make changes to fit in with them, they just abuse the change, & make you feel worse.

6.You want to come off the Deport injection, & go on daily meds, & you will have a better quality of life, in the long run.

7. You want to keep these friends, because your life is unberable without them.

8. You think about .............. when you are overwhelmned.

9. What can you do to make these friends treat you with respect, you do not know atm.

10. You get angry, & have violent thoughts, when you think about your life as it is.

Now all have gotten too much for you, & you are reaching out for help, & respect, as you are at braking point.

Well, Eude, if I have it wrong please correct me, ok 🙂

I believe that taking something from your Doctor, for relaxation atm, would help you, for a short time. You do need to be in a better more relaxed frame of thinking, to make quality decisions.

I agree with @Sophia1 that you need to see your Doctor ASAP.

If you can make an appointment, sooner the better, to get some help & tell the Doc all you tell us, please.:)

I do not see these people, that you mention, as being a healthy influence in your life. My opinion is that they are not going to change, unless they have a break down, maybe?

I know I'm walking on egg shells here with any advice, I just feel led to air some of what is in my heart.

Good Luck Eude, & GOD BLESS!!

Love & Hugs!

Bella xo 🙂

@eudemonism

we all believe in you Eude...

we do not judge you or think that you are bad...

we love you for who you are...the real Eude...

this is why we keep on writing to you because we want you to know that we genuinely care for you...

we think that you are a valuable person on this forum who has offered so much to others...

we want you to stop punishing yourself now....

we want you to get some help ...look after Eude

we have all been in a place where we have had to reach out for help...we know how hard it is to do that...

you are not going backwards...

you are taking time out so that you can come back and again be part of this wonderful friendship group that you are so very much a part of...

we are not giving up on you Eude...

which means that you must not give up on yourself...

@Sophia1I'm not the one who needs to forgive myself & I'm definitely not the one who needs to stop punishing myself... it is society that's doing it to me... I've finally come to terms with it... and there's nothing i can do about it from my side of the bargain...