Coming to terms with reality

Unfortunately, that is the probably the reason they want to keep you on it. @eudemonism

In case you act out on those thoughts. You have proved to me that you have a lot of commitment to do the right thing ... but without good effective psychotherapy, sometimes it is really hard not to let those negative thoughts have their way. I would think you needed to do something energetic or active that will dissipate those thoughts and not let them become manifest ... out in the world.... maybe your walk with dog can be part of the productive anger expression ... using the energy of the anger rather than getting carried away with a sense of vengeance.

I have struggled with that stuff a great deal. It takes determination.

Thinking of you Eude

Yea I'm hearing you @Appleblossom but the thing is... these violent thougths are repercussion of what they've done to me. It's my way of saying. Well because you've done this.. I'll do that.. that's what They don't understand.. It's what it all boils down too.. I'm not naturally violent unless provoked.. And darn right they've provoked me..

@eudemonism

You asked how much time do I spend on my own, yes?

I have my Fur Family, & next door neighbours, so if you count them. Oh, & one friend that visits me.

99.95%, don't ask me how I worked that out, it just seems like that much. If I add my Fur Family, I would have to say 0%.

Anyway, hey we all get angry, we all have violent thoughts at times, us humans were made that way by GOD. It's called, free will Eude. 🙂 How we act on a thought, is what matters. @Appleblossom was correct in sharing the fact that, ("usually", as we all grow more mature, & wiser, & more laid back) the older we get the more, it doesn't matter about what people say/do, just walk away, & let them fight with each other, it's not worth the, sweat, or bother.

I suppose tho, it's hard to put an older head, on a younger body, tho!

You can always go punch a pillow, knock the stuffing out of it, until your thoughts are on the mess you have to clean up, or how sore your hands & arms are, after you finish destroying, the pillow. That will get the violent thoughts feed well enough, I'm thinking. You may even sleep like a baby after all the physical energy you used up, to do that. Food for thought, hey?

Life will still go on, & you may feel a whole lot better in the long run, & you will have hurt no one, just need to buy a new pillow!

Love & Hugs!

Bella! XO

Hey @Former-Member Always lovely to see you around.

@eudemonism It is tricky when there has been injustice and feelings of revenge arise. It is also horrible to feel stuck with the same feelings and scenarios haunting us.

No mattter how much I agree that the situation is not fair, to act out directly is likely to make matters worse. It seems best to find better ways to release the emotions. If they feel you need more they may up the dose.

I was in court the other day and there was a case where a man was being prosecuted for threatening his pdoc. He said it was a misunderstanding as the doc twisted his words. It was sad to see and the judge was sympathetic. Be careful.

@Appleblossom Love you!

I'm giggling here, at all the babies giggling, so funny!! XXXXOOOO Bella 🙂 @>-->----

@Sophia1 Everyone misses you here, @eudemonism is lost without you!

Hope all is going well with all your family & Fur Family to day, & always~

Love & Hugs!

Bella xo :)

@Former-Member @eudemonism