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Coming to terms with reality

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

3494 replies

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 I'm feeling much better this morning. I got a nice block of sleep. How are you feeling and how has your sleep been going?

You mentioned government antics? Yes well. It can be rather ridiculous if you ask me. Especially when it comes to the tax on tobacco. - the tax on tobacco is putting financial pressure on every other area of my life... You know that the politicians do rather well in this country with their wages, benefits and pensions. And it's because of taxes like this that they inflict on people like me. It's wrong!..

Eude

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 I'm sorry about my words and deeds in recent times. I've been very strung out from day to day. And am constantly battling with 'my issues' I've basically got issues / problems in every area of my life...

I think the molasses I was using was flaring up my issues. Plus 'the drink and the smoke.' I must learn that it doesn't help and stop it. Not just for myself but for everyone in my life.

I'm not sure what's going on with myself some days. From day to day. From week to week. From month to month. From year to year. Even from minute to minute and from hour to hour. I'm always fluctuating and changing. Not even I know what's truly going on. So I shouldn't expect anyone else to either...

I've really got to watch my moods. And my nature. And my thoughts...

A big sorry to the world...

Eude

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hello @eudemonism

Reading your posts I perceive how much you struggle every day at the moment...

striving to improve your life ..

aware of when you slip back...at the same time fighting the very thinking that leads you to that step..

again you are trying to stop smoking....you realise the health long term risk....that smoking is addictive and increases your caffeine intake ....also entices the alcohol perhaps with socialising...a vicious circle so to speak

this is socialising as well though...which is very important for you with the right positive..caring...encouraging friends...family..

Your determination pushes through...you repeatedly pick yourself up and keep on trying...

This is a sign of someone who has tenacity...who has inner strength and courage...

Every effort that you make is moving you forward towards that goal that might seem so far away in the light at the end of the tunnel...It is there...

You also have a long term plan of ceasing the depot injection and starting oral medication...

I imagine that the psychiatrist would be the best person to advise when you are ready for this move...also have a better knowledge and understanding of what oral medication would be suitable for you..

You haven't written about your appointment yesterday with the gp...

I am wondering whethering you are feeling disappointed and prefer not to discuss the details...

If this is the case you have every right to choose not to write about your session...

I do not want to push you in any direction Eude..

I want to support you in the direction that you choose to take...

I am very aware how hard all of this is...

that you are not going to be cured...

there is no magic pill..

there is opportunity for change...change leads to an opportunity for improvement...improvement can offer you a better quality of life...

Most importantly please keep on believing in Eude..

You are working very hard at this...yes you still have the days where you feel everything is futile and that life is a neverending merrygoround of struggles..

If someone jumps on board the merrygoround and keeps you company...the merrygoround can be slowed down considerably whilst you have caring support at the same time...friendship...compassion...

Think of your forum friends taking turns joining you on that merrygoround...

You do not need to apologise to me...I will also say that I do not think that you owe anyone on here an apology..

These forums are for lived experience....we all have that...

I am always thinking that I have upset someone because I am a very sensitive person....I am not weak though...

There is a huge difference..

You have said that you are a sensitive person....You are not weak either....You are strong..

It takes courage to acknowledge our sensitivity and write about our feelings...

Oh dear another epic response...let me know if you find these too long and I will edit and condense my words..

dear Eude a big hug for you ...Mister...Purrpurr....sorry I just can't hug Monti Python...

speak soon I hope

Sophia

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 thanks xo very supportive kind and caring. I've vacuumed up mopped and done done tidying today. Place is looking very neat and clean. Treated myself to an upgrade in the phone section also.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

way to go @eudemonism , well done and hugs my friend

Hello @Sophia1, @Appleblossom, @Bunniekins, @Mulgajane

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 You're a very wonderful person and a great friend. I'll be thinking of you in this unsettled time you're dealing with at present and saying solemn prayer about it all going well and smoothly. I'm so happy that all has worked out well with the house sale and stuff. How are you feeling about moving and the change of environment?

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hello @Mulgajane @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @TAB @Former-Member @outlander @Former-Member @soul @utopia @Mazarita i hope you all have a good day. 🕵️‍♀️💝

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@eudemonism Hi eude 🙂 wishing you a wonderful day love greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Thanks @Bunniekins xo
Much appreciation ☺
Same goes for you

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hello @eudemonism

Thank you for such a lovely warm response....means a lot to me...

I am fragile still at the moment...

I feel as though I have been picked up by giant hands....tossed up high in the air and left to twirl around until I land with my head still spinning....out of whack with my body..

dissociated...fragmented...something...

there is so much happening so suddenly after the unknown for so long...

of course change happens when it wants to not when we are necessarily ready ....even though we want change to happen..

The moving side of it ....preparation wise is a nightmare on it's own..the actual moving process I have concerns ...just need to try and let go of them....as out of my hands

living in the rental place is just a stopover...will be busy organising new build....

the place is closer to town...so I can walk around parts of the town that I have not done before as well as link into the many trails that I have discovered that take me near the river eventually back to our block where our new home will be one day..

As long as I know I have walking access to environment that I like I will manage...

You are sounding more grounded Eude..

I read that you cleaned all of your house yesterday....very motivated and industrious....

what plans do you have for today?

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