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Coming to terms with reality

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

3494 replies

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hello @eudemonism

Apologies for not getting back to you sooner re one of your responses....

I will quote it so that you know which one I am referring to...

I know only too well how confusing it gets when threads start to move faster...

so if only for my sake...to help me respond ...you wrote the following:


@eudemonism wrote:
@Sophia1very wise and discerning words...

I genuinely feel for your situation with your family member...

When I was really unwell - in a state of loathing, despair and anguish... I really had to think about who I could reach out too... And basically pleaded with them in a sorrowful and remorseful way... Which was my mother at the time - I will never forget what her reply was 'we love you' or something along those lines...

It gave me hope of salvaging one of the most important relationships in my life... Which was with mum...

I hurt lots of people when I was unwell and in the process of growing up. And God didn't let me get away with anything...

There is always hope - never give up on hope...

Eude

..

your experience and memory of a time when you felt so low and had the need to reach out.....resulting in you doing exactly that ....now remembering the response was that you were loved....

giving you hope of salvaging one of the most important relationships in your life... Which was with your mum...

that experience is the ultimate primary love...mother and child....your origin...

you found that again...were reassured that the love is still there....

hold onto this memory forever....nothing can take this away from you Eude....

I realise that you follow religion and attend church....you tagged me into the christian chat thread...

Your faith brings you comfort....I am happy for you that you have this...

continue to be true to yourself ....

take care

Sophia

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Mulgajane I wouldn't wish my problems upon anyone to be honest with you. I'm not even sure what my problems are... I've been dealing with them for that long... It's just a normal part of everyday... I'm not even sure If they can be fixed!.. Who has the right to tell me I have problems in the first place?.. When I have I ever judged someone as having problems (unless it effected me negatively?)

I'm hearing what you're saying though...

Eude

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 it was the anniversary of my brothers death today, so I'm not sure what has been real and what has been not (when it comes to the stuff going on in my mind) it's been a rather hectic day - I must admit.

Eude

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

oh @eudemonism

That is so very hard for you....

Are you able to speak to the minister of your church that you mentioned you attend?

I know that your faith means so much to you...

Talking to someone or just sitting with someone who is supportive and someone you can trust might be of some help...

What do you think? Would it be easier being with another rather than dealing with all of the grief on your own today?

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 I think half the problem is the depot injection... The medicine should be in full swing... And I'm feeling more agitated then ever... And I'm drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes to deal with the side effects... I mentioned it too the nurse today but she denied it was the medication doing it... But what would she know when she's never been on this medication?.. Essentially it means she's in denial!.. Eude

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 and then the nurse turns around and blames the agitation on the coffee. When really, agitation (feeling wound up) is a documented side effect of the medication Eude. - it's really frustrating!..

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Hello @eudemonism

I did not get much sleep last night...awake from about 3am onwards...finally got up at just after 5am...

That would be very frustrating waiting for the benefits of the depot injection to start taking effect...

I have had agitation for depression my pscychotherapist has explained...

however too much coffee....therefore too much caffeine has agitated and unsettled me....also gives me heart palpitations..so I have cut my coffee back to two in the morning with breakfast...

after that I drink water or herbal tea...

I love coffee ...hard to stop drinking ...I finally realise that I have to minimise my intake due to the side effects I have...

I know some people have had to stop drinking it altogether as advised by their heart specialists...

hope that your medication effects kick in soon and you feel more rested...

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 I seen the doctor today and we organized an appointment to see a new psychiatrist. I'm really optimistic about this. I've got good feelings about this one.

I've finally committed to a doctor I can trust. And with each appointment I'm becoming more comfortable to be open and honest. So we can make as much ground on my illness as possible.

Another thing... I need to be honest and promptly admit when and where I'm wrong. Even though I'm 32 years old. The odd tantrum still does occur. My bad. Nobody else's fault.

Eude

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 life ain't easy. It's a struggle. It involves suffering. And I ain't gonna let my suffering fuel the ego of another. Eude.

In response to: Re: Sharing the wisdom within

Re: Sharing the wisdom within

@Sophia1 good morning xo

I'm thinking of you and praying for you. May peace be with you.

I look forward to hearing from you
Speak soon

Eude
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