Coming to terms with reality

@Sophia1

Day after day the same stuff is repeating itself. The same psychological processes. The same stuff in my psychical world. The same stuff in the world around me.

I'm disappointed that I'm not getting more out of life. I'm disappointed that I'm not doing more things I enjoy. Life has turned into a gruelling and monotonous battle of getting through each day.

Eude

good morning @eudemonism

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@eudemonism wrote:

@Sophia1

Day after day the same stuff is repeating itself. The same psychological processes. The same stuff in my psychical world. The same stuff in the world around me.

I'm disappointed that I'm not getting more out of life. I'm disappointed that I'm not doing more things I enjoy. Life has turned into a gruelling and monotonous battle of getting through each day.

Eude

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I can read between the lines how much you are struggling with repetition....your thoughts are doing the same...perhaps mirroring what you describe your life has turned into.....

Depression sounds as though it is lurking in the background if not already visiting....are you self aware of depression arriving? Something that I have taught myself after having depression on and off for most of my life...

I have been going through similar repetition and monotony lately post operation...even before then when isolating...

Without sounding like I am trying to counsel or advise ...which is quite difficult ...possibly even amusing or I hope not insulting from your perspective....Just going outside the door and looking at the sky...the light...reflections on buildings...yard...whatever is outside of your door....actually is very grounding....

this does not work for everyone...for me it brings relief from myself...I did this yesterday...described my experience in living with ourselves...

then noticing any breeze..

wind..... obviously if the tree boughs are bending over you need not waste time trying to notice...the wind..

10 minutes every day Eude....try it if you are not already doing this....it won't harm you...it will not take up energy...will do the opposite replenish some...bring you back in touch with the universe and what is really life.,,some peace for your soul...

lastly do not lose your humour....this is a strong part of who you are...this is a part of you which is a close friend....has the ability to rescue you and lift your spirits up higher...

well not quite lastly....keep on releasing those feelings on here....

take care my friend...

ps how is the tree that you planted?

@Sophia1

Depression for myself is basically giving up and becoming overwhelmed. Lying down all afternoon for example... Being overwhelmed with negativity... Not doing what I can too have a good day... And no I don't really see it coming, I sometimes don't even notice it happening... And with anxiety... I can switch from anxious to depressed so easily there's not really any in between stuff... I think I drink to escape the anxiety... Which creates depression and try to find something to do when I'm dealing with depression... But usually just lay down...

The tree I planted... I ended up moving it and it died... I was questioning if such a large tree in such a small back yard was a good idea...

And yea... When I'm anxious I'm anxious because I'm trying to get on with life (do stuff, achieve stuff, be active ) but I kind of ain't got much to do that I feel comfortable or confident doing... and it kind of burns me out to the point of wanting to be depressed. And besides that... I can't be anxious forever....

When I'm depressed I'm anxious because I'm not doing stuff... And when I'm anxious I'm depressed because I'm doing to much... I can't win...

What do you reckon about that?

Eude

@Sophia1 good morning and sorry about that last reply it was a bit messed up, confusing and hard to understand. I had a few wines yesterday afternoon...

Being diagnosed with mental illness is a critical judgment that society places upon many people. That comes with the punishment / treatment of pharmaceutical drug use.

Who has the right to judge me as either having good or bad mental health?

For there to be criteria for a bad mental health conditions there is also criteria for a good mental health conditions. And I reckon it's a load of rubbish. Research it on the Internet and you'll know what I mean. Such a broad and varied and elaborate and detailed versions of bad mental health conditions. And such a narrow minded, one size fits all and mainstream versions of what good mental health is... Everybody in some way or another fits into the bad mental health condition criteria... For whatever reason?.. And everybody is lead to believe and brainwashed into thinking fitting into the criteria of the a good mental health condition. Is appropriate, right and the answer. But as far as I'm concerned. It's not!.. And then there is a system full of people who enforce this upon everyone and anyone... It's rubbish...

Eude

I hope you understand

Hello @eudemonism

I do understand...

Nobody has the right to judge you in relation to your health full stop..

As for the terminology mental health I hate it....

I do not refer to myself in that way any more....I look for another phrase...I use unwell mind...mind struggle..you might come up with something of your own...why not...it is your mind...your health...you call it what you want...

I read between the lines that you are sounding assertive in your response...you are standing up for yourself...who you are...

I most definitely understand...

This is your right as a human being...

This is your inner strength coming to the surface...

A great response...

We are not the illness ...we are people who matter...

keep on writing

@Sophia1 good evening I hope all is well with you

I'd like to change my circumstances... I'd like to be working... I'd like to be off the medication... I'd like to be in a relationship... I'd like to quit smoking and drinking... Lol...

Or I'd just like to be living a better life and getting more out of each day... I understand not everything I want will happen... But I'm not going to give up trying to make it a reality...

Sometimes I think about moving too another town... Too get away from all the problems and my history... And it's a euphoric feeling because I have hope things will get better... But I honestly don't know what the end result would be...

@Sophia1

When Mister Injured himself awhile ago. One of his nails on his back left foot didn't heal properly. The third nail in from the outside healed out of place. So he must of broken a toe bone. His nail is now out of place and scrapes on the ground. I'm just worried it will effect him later on in life or I'll have to clip it on a regular basis.

Eude

Hello @eudemonism

sorry to hear that he injured himself..

yes I can understand your concern..

Is there a vet near you who will give you concession rate consultations...I also understand how costly vet bills are.

you could ring and ask approximate cost..explain that you are on a pension..

let me know ..

@Sophia1

I think it's minor. It's just concerning when I see it. As I'm worried the nail will not wear and grind down properly. It's healed in place already. It don't seem to bother him very much as is. But I'm concerned the nail will continue growing out of shape and not wear properly and cause him problems.

Good morning @eudemonism

Quite a milder morning here when I went outside about 8.00am..now the wind has come up...

what is the weather like your end..

It is good that you are concerned about Mister's toe nail as it could become a problem later if left...

Dog groomers do cut nails...

I would be more inclined to still get a vet to check it out...they will cut his nail....ring and ask the surgery first if you are not sure...