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Coming to terms with reality

Coming to terms with reality

Hi Readers, i am suffering from "mental health issues" and it is an ongoing, daily battle. I am pretty much constantly wrestling with the thoughts going on in my mind. And my psychical life seems too be suffering for it. (There is a huge difference between physical and mental ) something is definitely not right! So each day I'm waking up and going about my routine. And over the last few days, weeks and months. I have been noticing changes in my mentality toward myself, others and life. And some questions such as, what is my life about? And what should my objectives be? Have arisen... of course like we all are, I'm subject too making decisions... and there has been the same options in front of me time and time again for months on end. And it becomes rather draining and mundane. And i feel myself going around in circles like something simple just ain't connecting.

I enjoy writing, art, music. And peace of mind... walking, reading, meditation. Taking care of myself. Socialising. Etcetera. Getting ahead, getting in front. Planning, dreaming and so on. And do my best to look after myself. While accepting that it can only ever be so much.

But there just something not quite right. And I'm suffering for it on a daily basis. And I'm tired and fed up with going through the same stuff everyday. And in all honesty. Alot of my suffering comes from prospective and thought processes.

Does anyone wanna talk with me about some things that might help? In particular dealing with people no matter who they are. Can be very stressful and cause lots of procrastinating about pros and cons. In particularly people who i think about reaching out to for support. Because of dilemmas dramas and social dynamics. And picking up on things that "aint really happening" "gut feelings type of stuff " "intuition" that type of thing. And enjoying time with people is great! I just tend to be overly preoccupied with symptoms to be worried about socialising sometimes "Symptoms which involves others"

3494 replies

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In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Hello @eudemonism

sorry to hear about your neighbour....Hard for him and you probably feel for him..

yes life is not guaranteed for anyone.

I am not much help when it comes to technology..Silenus might be able to offer a suggestion..

Am very tired ..no sleep last night and headache all day..so am trying for an early Night...

Hope that you have a goodnight sleep also..

thank you for kind words

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

Good morning @Sophia1

I'm sorry about my tangent, my rambling and my babbling. It's a bad habit.

Did you make it to the beech the other day? If so, how was it?

Eude.

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism,
The beach I go just along with people.. would rather sit and watch and talk than... jump into waves.

Its hard to find people who like the same

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Friendconnect yea...

A swim is always good... And even just time at the beech is great for the soul...

Everything takes time, energy, motivation and resources unfortunately.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

hello @eudemonism

I did not read any rambling...babbling...

You speak from the heart Eude and this is a safe place to do that...so no need to apologise to me.

yesterday was lunch for friends at our place...she has cancer new growth he recovering from fusion of discs in back...

I found the day very draining....they talked about their conditions and at one stage he started to go into detail about his operation and cut....I politely said I really don't want to hear this at the moment...they were fine realising ...they including my husband all seemed to fall back into their conditions..husband has referral for skin specialist on tuesday the day of my operation...

I do understand that surgery and cancer treatment have been huge part of their worlds and they have not done much else other than rest etc...

I just felt isolated and not heard...in hindsight more from my own inner feelings that I am dealing with..I could not get a word in edge ways...

I think that it was like a therapy session for all 3 to get the opportunity to talk about everything...so that is good..

I was very drained though...have made decision to stay home today...do very little...so will miss out on beach which is sad...

will visit mum tomorrow afternoon on way to hospital....

what have you planned for today?

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

hello @Friendconnect

how are you feeling?

the beach...the sea I think has many different effects on everyone...

the weather itself can change the whole experience...the colour of the sea changing...the smells

I loved making castles...moats...being half buried... my boys loved it too.

@Friendconnect @eudemonism

which part of nature do you connect with most?

I also connect with trees...

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Sophia1 & @Friendconnect

I'm feeling unwell. I'm feeling paranoid. I'm feeling sick with guilt, worry and fear...

It's all closely linked into my life. Looking back on everything I've ever done wrong. Recent or distant past. And fearing judgment and punishment coming upon me. (from society or people involved) In my mind there is this narrating. And it's the voices of people involved with everything I've ever done wrong. (many people) . It's been happening for 15 years. I feel like a really bad person. It's hooking me into it. And my emotions are going crazy. And I can't tell what's true and what's not. Because it feels real. And is so closely linked into my recent and distant past. And involves so many people. It's made me feel very scared.

Rationalizing. I've got a diagnosis of schizophrenia. None of my worst fears have ever come true before. I'm connecting my thoughts into the present. My thoughts aren't true. It will pass and I'll get on with life. I need to concentrate on the moment. None of my thoughts are rational. It's all fear based. My mind is playing tricks on me. I'm thinking the worst. A weather change has come through. I've used in the last 24 hours.

Eude

In response to: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@Sophia1 & @Friendconnect

When I'm feeling well. It ain't much better. I've still got this worst fear scenario going on in my mind. That is based around everything wrong I've done. And judgment and punishment coming upon me. From people involved and society. (I think it fuels the love side of things, the grandiose side of things and the positive side of things)

Then there is the. Best case scenario. What I'd love most to happen. And I think I'm more in the moment. And taking action in the moment. That I think (symptoms say) will lead to the grandiose stuff in future. Love, fame, fortune, riches.

Eude.

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

sorry to hear that you went through that @eudemonism

whilst you were writing about your paranoia you actually mentioned that it was a narrative...

I am not a medical person...I know with my own negative thinking writing it down helps a little ....then slowly ...my mind settles a little more and then a little more...

when this dreadful experience occurs which it seems to on a monthly cycle....whilst in the midst of that fear are you able to look at something that you have written that is positive or a photograph of something that is positive to bring you back to reality...a photograph of the ocean...nothing that relates to the past...something that grounds you to the environment where you feel at peace...

I have had a dreadful day myself...I wrote on the worry room..

yes the weather changed here...horrible strong winds...

take care

In response to: Re: Coming to terms with reality

Re: Coming to terms with reality

@eudemonism

the past and the future are not always our friends...

the present can be our friend...we all can work on the present moment...

guilt...is a waste of energy...nothing changes...

what you do with your life moving forward...now not the future now...you are kind...you are caring...you have talent...you are artistic..you have two pets who love you...

work on these things in the now...not the future..

something to think about to try....not wanting to come across as always advising...wanting to help..

you are my friend...

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