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Yet another problem

PeppiPattySenior Contributor29 July 2015, 10:17 pm AEST

Yet another problem

.....if its not repressed dreams or my parents is this stress. Am I too sensetive?

Two years ago, my childhood sweetheart and i broke up. It was very sad but i had to keep myself safe. He is diagnosed chronic ( meaning all the time...) paranoid schizophrenia and i live with my own issues.

Since then, he has quit the drugs and alcohol. He was living four five hours drive away and he moved nearer to me about 3 months ago and wrote me a card. we are both almost 50 years old. We both see our mothers a lot. Me...not really wanting to too much and him because he is incapable to make friends in the community without a bit of a push.

i see my Psychotherapist....im dealing with my own stuff. Its difficult that my life is centred around my medication effects and...brain damage. . I further realise via therapy how badly ive been treated ny my family....for just being a woman.

He is taking responsibility for himself......though i wasnt the reason why he quit he says he used to think...if he changed his life Round......i would be his prize...... but we are only friends....we just really like spending time together.

his Mum continues to hate me. When we broke up she sending me threatening emails and ì responded by writing that i deaRly wanted our relationship to work and i was in danger from his alcohol use and the hospitals were not listening to me and how dangerous he was. I said if she kept up the emails i wou.d need to consider putting a restraining order on her.

We stay over at each others place.....only as friends.....i dont think i can develop anymore, if she doesnt change .....im happy to walk away if she keeps on with her shenanighans....she calls him and asks if im staying the night and she will not see him when im here.

I feel like im falling apart again. In the past, she would call my Mum and start the complaining.....my Mum would join in. I dont think i could do that again.

it makes me ill tthat im dealing with this at my age. As well as this that i do need a .ot of support.

Can anyone comment ?

62 replies

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In response to: Yet another problem

Unknown userMember27 Aug 2015, 12:55 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

Glad to hear from you @Troubled_One 🙂

Sounds like you're thinking clearer and have some ideas about what you want to do next. Hopefully the hospital will also organise some community supports for you for when you go home, as someone said to me in hospital its easy for hospitals to send you home, but sending you home at the right time with enough supports that you dont end up back is really important too.

Good luck,

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

Troubled_OneSenior Contributor01 Sept 2015, 1:41 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

Hi @Former-Member Yes that is what I amm hoping to get the suports etc from the hospital, I know from past experiences that they can help a alot to get you back in to the public.

@PeppiPatty hey Anne, yes I am trying to write when I can, just struggling with these panic attacks all the time and I can not even drive in a car to my mums to do the things I can almost craching just to do things. 😞

Thanks for all the upport though 😉

In response to: Yet another problem

PeppiPattySenior Contributor02 Sept 2015, 11:16 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

Dear all my beautiful friends here...... Something good happened for my long term benefitted life I'm not saying right words but stuff it ..... So excited to tell. ....

I was in this drama today ......watching how people were acting thinking I looking forward to write to everyone.

Yesterday I got the unneeded punch from the court from an un imaginative, uncaring magistrate who listened to the stalkers nasty nasty lies and dismissed the restraining order.
I could barely talk. The magistrate looked at my support letters from my GP and community support people and said to me that they are not worth the paper they are written on because I just told them a story and they signed.

So ..... Me and my ex husband went to the support centre to see Centrelink. These two wonderful wonderful people who work at Centrelink are passionate about change in MI and meet up with people once per week . We started up the process of me being a paid carer for my husband. The money will assist for petrol to get him to the chemist.

Then the stalker turned up and began speaking very loudly to me ...... give me back my coffee plunger you thief ..... Etc .... I said you won the case... Please leave me alone ,,,,,

He then went outside and started on my husband but being more personal on him, getting in his space and I said to a worker inside .... Why is it you all seem to ignore this person when you know how he's been interfering in my life ?

The big boss came outside because the stalker was being loud .... he heard his abuse to my husband .... They all stood by and saw it ..... They all heard of the court case ... He was kicked out of the centre. At last I was heard by the correct people in the community and my husband sat outside and was not reacting.

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 Sept 2015, 11:51 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

What a relief for you @PeppiPatty

Fancy being obnoxious at centrelink .. perhaps he got too cocky re court case.

It is interesting how seeing with their own eyes convinced the workers .. pity who had to go through the situation with court case .. I WISH that the judge were informed too .. he may never learn the error of his ways.

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

Unknown userMember03 Sept 2015, 6:53 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

You are so good at seeing the positive and moving on from such a horrific time in the court room. The judges are almost naieve about how these people work. Rarely do they let their true side show in front of other people, but he was probably so full of himself after his 'win' at court that he slipped up. I'm glad that the centre link people saw.. perhaps it would be good to get a statment from them about what they saw in case you need it again. If he continues his behaviour you can take it to court again... though in my negative mind im not sure it would be a better outcome even with evidence... hasnt seemed to help in my case.

I'm glad that you are also eligible for the carers paayment, that will be very helpful! Congratulations.. often its mroe about who you get to talk to in centrelink.. if you get someone helpful they make all the difference!

You are an amazing woman, well done @PeppiPatty Anne,

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

PeppiPattySenior Contributor03 Sept 2015, 10:31 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

Dearest @Former-Member, I so look forward to your messages, itsn't it funny, I find you so much stronger than me and able to handle negativity. When I was waiting for my hubby tonight to get to my place on the train, I was waiting in the grassy area of where I live and I felt.....at last, I can get to know my surroundings. So I went to Hungry Jacks for a coffee (yuck) and to be nearby the train and I spent some time just...staring into space. I haven't been able to do that the whole time Ive been living here. I've lived here for 2.5 years.

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

Unknown userMember03 Sept 2015, 10:40 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

lol.. is that hungry jacks coffee particularly as in yuck, or coffed in general? lol Every now and then I take the kids to the maccas playground so i can have a coffee and read the paper if im lucky hehe! I dont like to be out wiht the kids on my own, but in a busy place like maccas it feels much safer from anyone interrupting us.

Glad that things are settling for you and you sound so much more confident and peaceful i think.

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

PeppiPattySenior Contributor03 Sept 2015, 11:07 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

Dear @Former-Member

you think? Jeepers.....

I feel like this doodle brain is there everytime I turn around..... about to bellow at me if there is no one around.

I absolutely love coffee but not as much as I did when I was your age working with young children.....

Its weird , Im reading this sort of interesting book by Kate Atkinson called, Life After Life and the main people in the book are a family and are close.

Maybe its because I'm the only girl in my family with 3 brothers but it was always me that had a particularily difficult time....but then my youngest brother had a very bad childhood, he has cut the family off completely.... except me.

I get very stressed very easily and look very frightened very easily. Even though Im a very little overweight, I have few wrinkles for my age of 47 and I look very uneasy easily.

My two brothers who are the most loved by Mum....I dont know if they realise this but it seems like to ne they spend their lives calming things down.....they both earn a very good income but it took them both years to get there.

For years, I had no family support, a lot of awful negativity until I suppose into my mid 40s.

But now, after realising some cold hard truths, I am happy ........not having anything and living in public housing. I have no need for anything.

Maybe what I really needed was emotional support because money.....just comes and goes. If you have a little surplus, to be able to save would be awesome.

Your children......they are so lucky to have you.

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

PeppiPattySenior Contributor03 Sept 2015, 11:10 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

Dear @Former-Member

you think? Jeepers.....

I feel like this doodle brain is there everytime I turn around..... about to bellow at me if there is no one around.

I absolutely love coffee but not as much as I did when I was your age working with young children.....

Its weird , Im reading this sort of interesting book by Kate Atkinson called, Life After Life and the main people in the book are a family and are close.

I get very stressed very easily and look very frightened very easily. Even though Im a very little overweight, I have few wrinkles for my age of 47 and I look very uneasy easily.

For years, I had no family support, a lot of awful negativity until I suppose into my mid 40s.

But now, after realising some cold hard truths, I am happy ........not having anything and living in public housing. I have no need for anything. My support person friend has been fixing my car up for me, that has made me feel good having my "drive" fixed.

Maybe what I really needed was emotional support because money.....just comes and goes. If you have a little surplus, to be able to save would be awesome.

Your children......they are so lucky to have you.

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

PeppiPattySenior Contributor06 Sept 2015, 11:54 pm AEST

Re: Yet another problem

Hello all,

Im writing again,,,,,in my little monologue.....but got some good good news to tell. This weekend, my stalker has been texting and emailing abusive messages. My hubby handed over my computer tablet, a coffee plunger and cup to get my car key back. He left my key in the car so I can drive again.

On Friday night, I got home and was so tired, I left my car key in the car nd went to sleep, leaving my car open. He was walking arounf the complex and stole the key but couldnt start the car up as the key clicker was still in the house.

I have had a nightmare trying to get it back but it all worked nout but the texting has not finished.

Tonight, the police called me and said....we hear you are having problems with the stalker, well, we had him in here last week and he is a very unusual character, we feel we need to visit you on Tuesday and have a chat to where you ca get help to get him out of your life.

The policeman said, we will help you to get him out of your life.

Im still ...oh....at last.....

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