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Yet another problem

PeppiPattySenior Contributor29 July 2015, 10:17 pm AEST

Yet another problem

.....if its not repressed dreams or my parents is this stress. Am I too sensetive?

Two years ago, my childhood sweetheart and i broke up. It was very sad but i had to keep myself safe. He is diagnosed chronic ( meaning all the time...) paranoid schizophrenia and i live with my own issues.

Since then, he has quit the drugs and alcohol. He was living four five hours drive away and he moved nearer to me about 3 months ago and wrote me a card. we are both almost 50 years old. We both see our mothers a lot. Me...not really wanting to too much and him because he is incapable to make friends in the community without a bit of a push.

i see my Psychotherapist....im dealing with my own stuff. Its difficult that my life is centred around my medication effects and...brain damage. . I further realise via therapy how badly ive been treated ny my family....for just being a woman.

He is taking responsibility for himself......though i wasnt the reason why he quit he says he used to think...if he changed his life Round......i would be his prize...... but we are only friends....we just really like spending time together.

his Mum continues to hate me. When we broke up she sending me threatening emails and ì responded by writing that i deaRly wanted our relationship to work and i was in danger from his alcohol use and the hospitals were not listening to me and how dangerous he was. I said if she kept up the emails i wou.d need to consider putting a restraining order on her.

We stay over at each others place.....only as friends.....i dont think i can develop anymore, if she doesnt change .....im happy to walk away if she keeps on with her shenanighans....she calls him and asks if im staying the night and she will not see him when im here.

I feel like im falling apart again. In the past, she would call my Mum and start the complaining.....my Mum would join in. I dont think i could do that again.

it makes me ill tthat im dealing with this at my age. As well as this that i do need a .ot of support.

Can anyone comment ?

62 replies

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In response to: Yet another problem

AppleblossomSenior Contributor10 Sept 2015, 1:09 am AEST

Re: Yet another problem

Bran Nu Dae was a great film.

Putting people on pedestals can be problematic .. but we have to start somewhere and books are better than nowhere.

I used to admire Herbert Marcuse til I met his kids babysitter. .. hmmm

One book I liked was "If you meet the Buddha on the road ki ll him." about not being too attached to heroes. There are different ways to process and come to terms with stuff.

Letting go or integrating our past and our baggage in a way that is meaningful and allows us to have relationship with others is one of the purposes of life as I see it.

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Oct 2015, 8:29 pm AEDT

Re: Yet another problem

Dear @PeppiPatty

Thinking of you ....heard you talk of mothers who complain about their kids with MI. 20 years ago, when I was socialising with ex and going to church type social gatherings ... it came up a few times ..my husband was very antsy about parents of MI and blamed his parents far more than I did ... for much less neglect or abuse etc ..

we didnt talk about our experiences as it was just too extreme and the vibe to discuss things was all wrong ... it was a mild mannered social world ... and I pretty much tried to keep to being pleasant and well-mannered .... we didnt want to rock any boats. .. everybody had their struggles ... I am a bit more forward now ... when in more robust company.

I hope your brother is fine ... I am guessing he is the one with the tougher childhood.

Hi @Troubled_One

Hope you are ok. I believe you when yous ay you had it bad. It is funny about excuses and parenting and the competitions between generations.

In my family World War II always trumped ... our generation had not experienced war ...yet as it turned out .. the casualties and fatalities were worse ... so what is that about ...

I was a birthday party of a Jewish woman ... and all the women suffered from their mothers' stories as nobody could outdo the issues of being in the Holocast ... yet each generation has different challenges ... the same as they say dont compare between siblings or personalitites .. today's challenges are real.

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