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Something’s not right

Yet another problem

Yet another problem

.....if its not repressed dreams or my parents is this stress. Am I too sensetive?

Two years ago, my childhood sweetheart and i broke up. It was very sad but i had to keep myself safe. He is diagnosed chronic ( meaning all the time...) paranoid schizophrenia and i live with my own issues.

Since then, he has quit the drugs and alcohol. He was living four five hours drive away and he moved nearer to me about 3 months ago and wrote me a card. we are both almost 50 years old. We both see our mothers a lot. Me...not really wanting to too much and him because he is incapable to make friends in the community without a bit of a push.

i see my Psychotherapist....im dealing with my own stuff. Its difficult that my life is centred around my medication effects and...brain damage. . I further realise via therapy how badly ive been treated ny my family....for just being a woman.

He is taking responsibility for himself......though i wasnt the reason why he quit he says he used to think...if he changed his life Round......i would be his prize...... but we are only friends....we just really like spending time together.

his Mum continues to hate me. When we broke up she sending me threatening emails and ì responded by writing that i deaRly wanted our relationship to work and i was in danger from his alcohol use and the hospitals were not listening to me and how dangerous he was. I said if she kept up the emails i wou.d need to consider putting a restraining order on her.

We stay over at each others place.....only as friends.....i dont think i can develop anymore, if she doesnt change .....im happy to walk away if she keeps on with her shenanighans....she calls him and asks if im staying the night and she will not see him when im here.

I feel like im falling apart again. In the past, she would call my Mum and start the complaining.....my Mum would join in. I dont think i could do that again.

it makes me ill tthat im dealing with this at my age. As well as this that i do need a .ot of support.

Can anyone comment ?

62 replies

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In response to: Yet another problem

Re: Yet another problem

I hope they can actually help. Did you lose your new computer to him ... thats not fair ...

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

Re: Yet another problem

I'm so glad that you got your key back!!! What a nightmare! Keep all of the text messages too and show them to the police when you see them. I'm really glad that they're going to help...... finally!

I'm sorry that you lost those things though, its very unfair 😞

Hope you're having a good day today,

LJ

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

Re;Yet another problem

I felt a little ....I want to..write...'aware,'.....of who I was speaking to when telling of the messup of the court case......There is so many messups in the community and I found I was saying, but my story is not the worst....

Im trying to work out how to print the texts out and the emails for the police to see.

my support person came over and fixed my key and of course, the stalker had ran the battery down. He's coming over to start the car up tomorrow morning.

you what the most .....calming thing I am doing is letting all my anxst go and looking at my husband and seeing how Hard he is working to be a good support.

I tell him that if he ever sees the stalker, if he starts on him I will never ever speak to him again and he is so aware of what its actually been like for a very long time.

I dont know what the rest of Australia is like but the ice epidemic is very fullon here esp. where I live. Its so sad

It makes me feel so sad because where I live, almost in the centre of the busiest part of the area, there is others going ......uneasy. And all my 'friends,' are listening with one ear while listening to their own monologue happening.

But I have a computer now. :0)

In response to: Yet another problem

Re: Yet another problem

No he asked for my tablet not the new computer. I'm always thinking of you lj and how your court cases are going
Keepers no chocolate at home tonight ......

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

Re: Yet another problem

Dear @PeppiPatty

don't diminish the impact of your situation on you by comparing to others anywhere. It's how its making you feel, and the impact that its having on you that is important and i know everyone here wants to support you. I've been thinking lately that you are doing so well and thinking that since you and your husband reconnected so strongly you've been seeing the best side of things more, and maybe thats because of the wonderful support he's giving you 🙂 I'm glad you still have your new computer 😄

My court stuff is ongoing, and other stuff as well that is making us feel really unsafe. im struggling with it... but also strugglign with the things that i need to do to try and make us safe... like moving... again, doing a new restraining order application and making more statements to police... none of which i really feel strong enough to do sigh! but... at least here on the forums i feel useful and like I can make a positive contribution to something and that helps a lot!

In the reduced price area of woolies tonight (gotta love those spots lol!!) was a jamie oliver lemon meringue tart... it was sooooo yummy lol! Definitely not part of my healthy eating diet (or the custard i made to go with it lol) but totally worth the extra walking i'll have to do tomorrow if i can make myself get out there hehe!

much love to you mama Anne

LJ

In response to: Yet another problem

Re: Yet another problem

Reconnected ...... Yep that's my darling husband and me.
We have known each other for years and years and years since we were 13 years old.
The re connection is very real but oh ...... His mum hates me!
And I'm almost 50 years old !
Honestly lj I just love the restraining order stuff. When the police remember me they promised to come over and discuss my options in that one.
I'm taking a ........ 'victor Frankel,' approach ..... Something that I think you would like..... Just letting life unfold for you. He wrote this extroidinary book called ' Mans Search For Meaning.' Please don't be turned away by the title. It's written before 1970 .
Anne

In response to: Re: Yet another problem

ctor Frankel and I heard you mention LaingRe: Yet another problem

Yes it is nice if you feel support from partner ...Victor Frankel is good... "letting life unfold" is a lovely approach ... it will do for me too.

I heard you mention Laing on another thread. I do believe that type of writing is spot on.

Maybe re getting restraining orders it is still more raw and complex for @Former-Member in the looking after little kids mode, than you in distancing from your stalker. I hope the police help her too ... you were lucky your stalker showed his bad hand at centrelink ...

In response to: ctor Frankel and I heard you mention LaingRe: Yet another problem

Re: ctor Frankel and I heard you mention LaingRe: Yet another problem

@PeppiPatty @Appleblossom

Funnily enough my psychologist emailed me a quote by Frankl which was this

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

I will look up that book 🙂 thank you

LJ

In response to: Re: ctor Frankel and I heard you mention LaingRe: Yet another problem

Re: Yet another problem

What a great quote @Former-Member

I have worked with those concepts but it does put a lot of pressure on us. It is why I deliberately reduced stimulus in our home over the last 13 years .. so that my son and I would be have a little more space to make decent choices in the space between the stimulus and response. neither of us do knee jerk reactions much. Some times it is easier or more obvious that others and some times we need to go with the flow.

In response to: Yet another problem

Re: Yet another problem

Dear @Former-Member and @Appleblossom
I was fortunate to meet Rachael Perkins..... An amazing and exciting advocate for people expressing times of mental ill health .....( She believes in sharing same stories )

And we were discussing Laing ..... I confess I love reading his books but she said oh yeah she was impressed but suggested me read the biography by Asrian Laing, his son.

Mental health has so many twists and turns. I always felt my childhood was like being Victor Frankel in 'Mans Search For Meaning' . Be aware lj that all this stuff is all for you to let go of stuff a little bit at a time.
You lj are so much more advanced than I would have ever been.

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