I dont know what to do next

Hi @Ant7,

I'm so glad you made that appointment. Yes, I know, it's difficult to get the words out sometimes, especially when It's a doctor and you feel like you are 'under examiniation' .... I think the first time is the most difficult, because it is a new experience. After a while, you get used to talking about your mental health, as though it were diabetes or asthma, or some other condition that is common.

If you like, write down a few things so that you don't forget to say them. Like, if you have any symptoms, - shaking hands, racing heart rate, insomnia (or sleeping too much), loss of appetite, difficulty finding enjoyment in things you used to enjoy, prolonged low mood that won't shift or withdrawal from social activities that you used to enjoy. These are some common things that people who are depressed experience. Your experience may be similar, or it may be different from this.... it's best to use your own words and just explain how you feel.

Thanks for asking... I am going ok. It's funny- i came home yesterday afternoon and developed a cold straight away! I think it was the stress of seeing my Dad. I just got over a cold about 10 days ago and now I seem to have a new cold.

I am going to take it easy today and I should be around if you would like to chat.

Good luck with the doctor!

@Ant7,

that is great news... if your doctor has some training in psychology, that means she is interested in that area, which is a huge help. It also means that patients with mental health problems will seek her out and so she will have plenty of experience!

I'm so glad you went @Ant7! And the doctor was really nice- what a bonus!

I have been suffering from loss too... first, my Mum passed almost 2 years ago and now my Dad has cancer and I fear that he will pass, as well. It will be sad with both of them gone, but it's something I have to prepare myself for. They both had really full lives, so that is a blessing anyway.

Please do not feel like your troubles are not important or that your feelings are a burden to people and not worth talking about. That is just the depression talking... it can give you a feeling of low self-worth. Once you start talking, it's a relief and you don't feel so alone.

@Sahara sorry to hear about your mum And your dad. That must be hard. I just went for a ride my GP said exersise helps and I have been doing a fair bit. My dad is in heart failure I found it out 2 weeks ago. He cant have any more operations so it will get eventaly and he had to spend a week in hospital to get it under control. Mum is not copeing and both of my brothers live away so she has been talking to me about it a bit. Dad has prety much given up so that has her stressed as well.

Hi @Ant7,

it's hard when our parents get older isn't it? I have been very stressed about my Dad as he is a difficult patient and can't stand hospitals, which makes it hard to manage him. He is always complaining!

I just do what I can, within my abilities and my emotional limits. That's all any of us can do.

It can be enough just to listen to someone and let them know they are being heard- like your Mum, for example. We don't have to offer solutions to problems- we can just listen and say "I hear you. I can understand you". That is enough.

Your Mum will be upset and confused- it's only natural. Be a listening ear but take time out for yourself, as well. That is what I have been doing. I only go and see my Dad when I know I can cope. (My sister and brother live in the same town as him, but interestingly, they can't manage him any better than I can.. they get very frustrated with him!)

Just do what you can, @Ant7. and make sure you continue to do the things you need to do- like exercising... that is so important.

@Sahara Thanks again for your wise words. It sounds like you are doing a wonderfull job with your dad. With my dad it is just another thing in a long line of crap that has being going on for the last year. So many setbacks and losses I sometimes wonder how much more I can take.

Are you going to go and talk to a psychologist @Ant7?