I dont know what to do next

@Ant7,

A build up of negative experiences over an extended period of time can really set a person back. It takes time to process things and recover. If you don't get a chance to recover from one thing before another negative thing happens to you, then you may end up depressed. Even if they are small things in themselves.

Even positive experiences can cause stress in our lives... like starting a new job or going on an overseas holiday. They are good things, yes, but they also take a lot out of us! Moving house is another big one that is extrememly stressful.

Anything you would like to talk about?

Talking about the bad things that have happened to you might really help @Ant7. A trained, experienced psychologist would be a good person to talk to. They know the right questions to ask to bring things out into the light, so to speak.

Often when something bad happens to us, we can either clam up or refuse to let it get to us. But the problem is that these things don't just go away- they resurface later and bite us! So years later, you could still be holding onto old sadness, hurt and frustration. I'm just going by what has happened to me in my own life. Your situation may be different... i am trying to explain things in general terms.

When you open up to someone (even a professional) and get things out in the light, you see that your feelings aren't really all that unbearable... Sadness, anger, regret, whatever it is... these feelings do pass, once they are acknowledged fully. It may take a bit of time.

I used to be the type of person who would never let anyone see how I was really feeling. I always looked calm and serene, even when I felt like I was dying inside. I was even a bit aloof or stand-offish with people because I was too afraid to let them see my real feelings. I don't know why- I thought they would think I was weak or pathetic or would criticize me.

I had a very critical mother, so I think that had a lot to do with it.

By the time I finally got to see a counsellor, at age 35, I think I was just about ready to explode with emotion, because I had spent so long holding everything in! What happened was that I cried in front of the counsellor; it really wasn't so bad... in fact, it was a relief. Nothing bad happened. The counsellor acceped me and reassured me.

Hi @Ant7,

I just wanted to tell you that Medicare applies to everyone, no matter how much you earn. All you need is a Medicare card. You go to your G.P. and get a referral to see a psychologist- you even get to have your choice of psychologist- and the G.P. will fill in a 'mental health care plan' for you and that means you are approved for 10 sessions with a psychologist.

It's the same principle as if an Australian millionaire wanted to get treatment in a public hospital in Austraila, there would be not problem at all, as everyone is covered by Medicare. He would not have to pay a cent! (Ok, he might have to pay full price to fill his scripts at the pharmacy on discharge, but that is all.)

Medicare is for everyone- you do not need a 'health care card' or to be on a pension to access Medicare. I really hope that everyone knows this!

I think that if you were to go ahead and make a doctors appointment, then your wife would understand. You can just do it on the way home from work or whatever- it's not like you have to announce it to your family- but it's not like you would be keeping it from them, either. It's just that you would be independently taking care of yourself.... as a mature adult.

Does your wife inform you every single time she sees the doctor/dentist/whatever? Like, I'm sure she goes in for women's health check ups and stuff. Mamograms, etc. Not everyone tells their partner every single detail of their life, especially if there is no need to.

I think I usually tell my husband if I see the doctor- but if it's a really minor thing I probably would alarm him with it, if he is really busy. I like the feeling of knowing that it's my life and I'm the one in control of it.

Ok, I know depression is not minor. That's one good reason why you should get it checked out. Otherwise, yes, it's absolutely a pleasure to talk to you and I'm glad you are getting a benefit from the forums. Feel free to write about anything and everything.

Hi @Ant7,

that's good that your wife and you are so close and that you support each other by going to doctor's appointments together. It makes me think that your wife will understand you seeking help for depression. I think perhaps she needs time to process things and accept that you have been feeling this way for a while now.

If you go to see your doctor by yourself, you can always sit her down and tell your wife all about it afterwards. It doesn't have to be on the same day- just when the time feels right. You might like to make her dinner or even take her out somewhere quiet so as you can talk uninterrupted.

I too, am very introverted in many ways. I just always feel that people wont accept me if I tell them how I really feel, like I said before. But things tend to work out when you are honest.

I have to go to work, but I will write soon.

Let us know how you are going @Ant7. I have been away from the internet for a few days due to visiting my sick Dad. He is going ok. I am very tried from listening to him and from extended family interaction!

Have you got your Dr's appointment?