I dont know what to do next

Hi @Ant7 & @Owlunar,

getting off the track a bit... but once I actually met a lady who had worked for the Queen (as a servant) for many years! Of course I was very excited and asked her all about it- that was the closest I think I will ever get to meeting the Queen. That was huge for me! When I think about it I wish I'd talked to her for longer.

@Ant7, it sounds like you are a very respectful guy. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

@Owlunar, sorry to hear your ex was not all that compatable with you. I think it happens a lot. The stories some women have told me- very interesting stories.... but I'm not able to repeat them here!

@Ant7, I would love to repeat some stories.... but I think I would only be doing so to have a laugh at people behind their backs.... not because it would be 'educational' for people to read here.

Even though it is anonymous here, I still think it going a bit far to have a laugh at people and what they have done in their private lives. I know I can have this very harsh side to me.... where sometimes I like to take a swipe at people.... I think this trait comes from my Mum, too. (May as well bame her for everything!)

What are you up to today @Ant7?

I have another day off!

Hi @Ant7

I am sure you wouldn't put any pressure on anyone - you seem a really decent person - and here - with anonymity - one could say whatever but if it was not kind - ah - maybe people would not reply to that

Sorry I had to rush off mid-sentence like that - including @Sahara here

Whatever our fantasies are - that's something for ourselves - we can have fantasies and never act on them but yeah - this is a secret sort of thing - but I did have the time to think about it

In all my years from when my mother had a secret book she would get out and read bits to me when I was in early adolescence - till now when passed it I guess - I'm no prude but also - I have no opportunities and I don't care - but still - I have never read anything about what's okay and what is not - and maybe there should be - but I haven't looked past a public library and that was so long ago

So - what I was saying - whatever it is both people have to be okay with it - and the bottom line - there is something that needs to take place to have a baby - and I guess that's the obvious -

And I have said enough

Yes - Sahara - it was unpleasant to have my husband want something I didn't feel okay about - and he did pressure me - but I wouldn't go alone with it and long story short - I got a locksmith and had a yale lock put on my bedroom door and we were two legally married people sharing the same roof and sharing two kids and working it out with the "staying there for the sake of the kids" etc - and I think that was right for me - but not for him - I was glad when it was over

I don't know what his second marriage is like but when I saw him at a birthday party years back (I think his wife is great btw) I could see that gloomy, saturnine man and wondered a lot - I have been so much better since I had my second adolescence and lived a life alone - and I know this is hard for some people to understand

But like - what is a friend? What is a life-partner? Whatever the answer - the relationship has to be what both people want

And - we have this referedum coming up on same-sex marriage - so - hey - this is one topic I feel uncomfortable about - it seems society as well has to be okay on this one

I hope these comments are okay - I read them back and I feel okay about what I have written - maybe these issues need discussion - they do have an impact on our daily lives and mental health

Dec

Hi @Ant7

I agree that it's no one's business but the couple involved when it comes to getting married - and of course - marriage has to be the main reason for divorce - I think the splinter in my shirt about the whole thing is I didn't want to break my marriage vows - and it the long term - I didn't - it was my ex-h who wanted to remarry - why? I do not know

I get it though - the only way I could leave home even after I had reached legal age was to get married - my family was so strict on that issue - and society then was so hard on women - I think that glass-ceiling starts with the inequality regarding what women earn for doing the same work - this opens the whole issue of equal rights right down the middle

To this day I resent it - I worked with young male accounting students who got 25% more salary than I did - and my books, fees, fares etc were the same - from my teens I found this to be true - and to leave home - to even get a car - was out of the question until I did - because I was female and my parents would not even let me sit outside in the car with my fiance - like weeks before I got married even - because I was female - and I married to get out of it and bingo -

I did my best though - although there are times when I rant and I considered changing this - but no - we need equal rights but they don't always happen

So at the end - people marry for their own reasons I guess - but no one has to in this day and age - which is most likely my point - somewhere in my rant

Dec