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Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor17 July 2015, 9:58 pm AEST

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

I get so tired of being strong and being positive and thinking of a new approach. I feel pull out positivity like a rabbit from a hat but that it can become false. I am now hypersentsitive and ambivalent about whether I should continue to post or withdraw.

I have had low self-talk and concentration poor.

My son has been the most loyal of all my family to me ..it worries me because he is vulnerable too.

Nobody else cares and I put a lot of effort into family events for decades.

I started swearing and calliing myself piece of dirt and other things like I am becoming a teenager.d .. but i dont want to have to be teenage boy all the time ..

I would like to have been useful

I have managed to get some help and am grateful, for what has worked.

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In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor22 Oct 2015, 5:57 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

We will be here for you @Mazarita.

I had to do that twice... abstain while others were partaking

1) the most recent was giving up cigarettes in early 30s while husband continued to smoke ...

I also subscribed to the "I am not doing anyone else any harm concept" ...

I am a little skeptical about the role of meds in contemporary western society ...

2) the first time was going off dope .. I succeeded... without much encouragement ... except for one boss at work

here for you ... grab that bull by the horns.

I do overeat a bit ... but working on that one gently as it is also a source of necessary nutrition.

Hope your expert coughs up the goods.

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor22 Oct 2015, 6:09 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

Lucky I have been both a biological and a step parent

Lucky I went to the Step-parent Association and figured out many issues.

or maybe its just hard work ...

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

PeppiPattySenior Contributor22 Oct 2015, 7:22 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

This is how I was brought up ::::
Could you say to the student ( once parents have gone ) this time is only for positive comments. In music we can play the negatives out of our lives but.
It might be too interfering ??

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

PeppiPattySenior Contributor22 Oct 2015, 7:32 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

Dear @Maritza

of you can do ..... Maybe your nearest and dearest can copy ?
Stay strong sweetheart we are here for you

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

MazaritaSenior Contributor22 Oct 2015, 9:52 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

@Appleblossom Interesting reading your experiences with overcoming addictions. I have managed to break or at least moderate other addictive behaviours in the past but the addictive impulses seem to have then attached themselves to something different. Currently it's around smoking (of more than one kind). Hoping psychologist might have some ideas about breaking addictive cycles in general.

Thanks for the support, everyone.

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

PeppiPattySenior Contributor23 Oct 2015, 2:19 am AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

I think your right about Johanne Hari ..... I do like his ted talk on addiction though. I never saw it like that ...... Another Sycophrant hey

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

PeppiPattySenior Contributor23 Oct 2015, 2:25 am AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

@Neb it's good to see you
I'm forbidden to write of my husbands experiences
But can write of my own
Many many times I have met people suffering times of mental ill health ...... And actually people in the throws of deep grieving incredibly lonely and isolated. Me as well.
Just today we were listening the John Lennon music remarking on his and Paul Mcartneys and Georges brilliant song writing talents

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

PeppiPattySenior Contributor23 Oct 2015, 2:34 am AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

dear @Maritza

I'm thinking about you.

Big cuddle from Anne

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor23 Oct 2015, 3:41 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

I am more proactive with the parents now ...

My approach is that I give "my all" to the person whose bottom is on the piano seat. I work hard to earn the right with my students to make constructive criticisms ... and I hope they work hard too ... hmmmm.

For a long time I was too nice to students ...

Its not a big deal ...

Personally, I wanted to make the point that my silence has not been paid for, just the hour of my time and my teaching skills. Confidentiality is a different issue again and I take it seriously ... I have never discussed these things before ... but they are relevant to my boundaries and I thought this discussion would be helpful for the forum too. I am more interested in my own creative process rather than turning my teaching, which I deeply love, into a money-making business.

Ahhh the assumptions of paternalism and economic rationalism.

In response to: Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

AppleblossomSenior Contributor23 Oct 2015, 4:54 pm AEDT

Re: Learning about Relationship Boundaries

It may still be worth watching the Hari utube re addictions ... but I have enough "lived experience" not to need his ...

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