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Ah, 10 years ago my husband had a brief 'affair'... I stayed, we worked things out - it took time and help but we got there. Early this year he did it again, I didn't know. Then at Easter he tried to commit suicide and I didn't know. It all came to a head while I was away in June - was asked to come home from my trip as he was unwell. It was only when I got back that it all came out. Into hospital he went with severe depression (the worst I've ever seen him). He was diagnosed with type 1 bipolar disorder - oh of course I can see it now... The ups and downs, the rollercoaster as I used to call it. What I would like to know is... Once he is successfully medicated - what are the chances of him being manic again and sleep with someone (or that matter so depressed that he tries to end his life)?
Asking for self preservation really, I don't think I could take that kind of betrayal again, not for a third time.. I'd rather go now so I don't leave myself open to more pain, I'm too old and tired.
How did Mr K go with his denervation? Has it helped?
Darcy
In response to: Infidelity and bipolar
KreagorSenior Contributor
Re: Infidelity and bipolar
@Former-Member Denervation is done, but he'll need to work now on eliminating the "stiffness" in his neck through physio exercise and some remedial massage. I will mention the mood chart, they encouraged that in hospital as with most, normal life is taking over, with loads increasing on his behalf (though no paid work) but he feels that his thought processes are different now.. the need to do 'now' has subsided somewhat. Also his tremor has diminished a bit which has made him feel alot better. Work has ramped up for me... Tourist season has started - not alot of down time, though we are taking a mini break shortly. How are you getting on? I find that spring always lifts my spirits 🤗
In response to: Infidelity and bipolar
Unknown userMember
Re: Infidelity and bipolar
Would love a mini break, we have been talking about it and I suspect it might be the way to go, holidays seem to stress Mr D out. Find at times I cannot concentrate on work, got some tips from psychologist on that. It has been nearly 2 years of tapering crisis meds and I am finally feeling I am not on 24/7 suicide watch.
Mood chart - Mr D will do if I print off, mark meds etc, he only does the mood bit, if I didn't organise, he would not do it. Was reminded of it after listening to this talk - the best I have listened to so far on bipolar (posted this and another in the what's new tab).
Hi @Kreagor How are you going, have you been on your mini break?
In response to: Infidelity and bipolar
KreagorSenior Contributor
Re: Infidelity and bipolar
Had a relaxing time thanks @Former-Member - things still quiet, he's not very sociable (but then, neither am I really). Life is settling into a pattern, Christmas will be interesting. I have noticed that there isn't a giant 'to do' list or any manic behaviour which tends to emerge this time of year (like moving house, climbing a mountain or conquering a sea). Christmas might be relaxing, who knows ? I hope things are well with you.
In response to: Infidelity and bipolar
Unknown userMember
Re: Infidelity and bipolar
Before and after @Kreagor ... Things steady here, Mr D had surgery, pain meds causing havoc but things appear to have gone well surgically.
In response to: Infidelity and bipolar
Unknown userMember
Re: Infidelity and bipolar
Hey @Kreagor Quick check in.
In response to: Infidelity and bipolar
KreagorSenior Contributor
Re: Infidelity and bipolar
Hi @Former-Member I'm super busy with work with the lead up to Christmas. But, so far, Mr K hasn't done his usual pre Christmas rush 🙂 so we aren't moving mountains, house or some other kind of mammoth task. It's nice, although he has pushed to go 'away' over my busiest time (new years) I've agreed to go away for a couple of days after Xmas, but back for new years... I need to be here for that. His 50th birthday was very quiet, he didn't want to have a 'party' but I can understand that, I wouldn't want one either. Oh I watched an advert for 'love actually' that Xmas movie they show every year. It triggers bad feelings for me (weird) when Emma Thompson realises the gift wasn't for her... I still feel 'second best' I guess, deep down - I don't know how to fix that 🙁 I worry that I won't be able to fix it. I hope you are well and that your lead up to Christmas is going well. Thanks for checking in on me, I appreciate it 🙂
In response to: Re: Infidelity and bipolar
Unknown userMember
Re: Infidelity and bipolar
Hi @Kreagor
I really feel that any response I give you will be far from adequate as I know that broken trust is super hard, I think of it as a chain link that has been broken and welded back together - the knobbly repair defect is a reminder of what happened. I have read that following these things that a relationship can survive but but usually only if the patient commits to appropriate management of their MI. I know as the carer and the one wounded that it takes ongoing forgiveness and compassion on our part. Living grief ...
D
In response to: Infidelity and bipolar
KreagorSenior Contributor
Re: Infidelity and bipolar
Thanks @Former-Member - I try not to feel bitter and selfish you know but sometimes I get mighty sick of "sucking it up". Not just with Mr K but other stuff in life... I fear that one of these days I'm just going to walk out of the door and never come back - one can only be 'put upon' so much. Sorry, it's been a tough couple of days - I'll be right in a bit, lol as the "only adult in the room" I don't have the option of running away - but I can dream about it 🙂. I hope you are well and that things are on a smooth tack.
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