Infidelity and bipolar

@Dark I recently found out my husband cheated on me. As part of his treatment he found out he had bipolar and has started meds. We’re trying to work through it but I’m hurt and disgusted by what he did, and terrified he’ll do it again.

That’s rough, and I’m sorry to read that and for what you’re dealing with <br>This may help, or it may not. In my case, after roughly two years of counseling, a 12 step, a men’s group, and 10 months of medication I think I know a lot more than I did. <br>For me, infidelity had very little to do with infidelity. Drinking had very little to do with alcohol. So on and so forth. <br>I’m an addict. What I’ve learned is that, at least in my case, addiction has almost nothing to do with the expression and everything to do with the emptyness. I’ve hated myself pretty much forever. I’ve never felt accepted. I’ll look to anything to avoid sitting in that and thinking about it. Could be alcohol. Could be watching Netflix. Could be food. Could be music. Could be art. Could be leading a ministry and going on mission trips. Could be an affair. I guess what I’m driving at is that you cannot view your spouses infidelity as having anything to do with you if our situations are similar. If acceptance is the drug, there are few better (false) sources than physical intimacy. That is the ultimate expression of acceptance. Feeling wanted, having honey poured in your ear, having someone make you feel like maybe you aren’t a total freak....that can be powerful stuff. It’s a total lie. But it can be easier to live in the fiction than in the reality of what you’re doing and how hollow it is.