Heart sinking

Thank you @Phoenix_Rising

Sorry I didn't get to reply - I just lost all energy and then went into a hole and disappeared for a while.

I do hope you one day DO find an idealistic therapeutic relationship with someone. You definitely DO deserve that.

I wish I had an answer too but I just suppose that I am feeling really really lost. In more ways than one.

Take care 💜💛

@Phoenix_Rising

Totally feel rude for not feeling as though I had the ability to reply. Still - in such a tormented headspace

The system is really REALLY messed up. So horrid how hard it is just to find someone to support you. Also kinda messed up that there is so much difficulty you have to go through for help. Things really need to change.

Have a nice night and hope you sleep well. ❣❣

Oh my - I just don't know what to do.

Life seems to be fading. I am fading.. and nobody even gives a darn. I want everything to end -- and I know I will end it all at the next given opportunity.. My family also has set up a holiday in 2 weeks time - my Mum and sibling have already backed out of it. I want to back out too but my Mum has been getting upset.. She doesn't want the money to be wasted - but she isn't going?? I dont want to be stuck with my Dad either 😔 Our relationship is practically non-existent. I have such a difficult time with my father.. He has done a lot and has left me with PTSD.. and a lot of anger & sadness.. Which I usually don't admit.

I am just thinking of when is the best time to leave. When is it best for everyone else. If it were my choice- I would leave tonight. Maybe I should just leave it up to my brain.. and my brain can decide when.

I have nothing here. It is all pointless. I can't stop crying.. I keep searching for reasons to stay, but everything is telling me to go. There is no reason to stay.

I have written my notes. Everything is ready.. I just don't want to hurt anyone. I know I will -- but I hurt people regardless. Alive or dead.

Hi @Former-Member

I can hear the pain in your writing. I'm sorry you're going through such intense things right now.

I'm going to drop you an email in a moment to follow up.

Take care,

Nik

Hi @Former-Member

As I said in my last email, please be kind to yourself and take care tonight.

Hold off making any decisions for tonight and get in touch with the Help Centre tomorrow to discuss some alternative options.

Take Care.

Today only got worse 💔💔

Is there a @Former-Member on tonight?