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Something’s not right

Heart sinking

Unknown userMember21 June 2017, 6:33 pm AEST

Heart sinking

My heart continues to sink as every minute goes past 💔

Today, I have reached out and contacted over email local psychologists in my area and my local headspace centre. I feel crashed and destroyed. It always comes back to - having to see my GP to get a Mental Health Care Plan for only 10 free appointments !?! Why isn't that enough 😔 I have no money, I have selective mutism (so can't even freaking approach a GP, can't talk) and I have been crying for the last couple of hours. I feel so hopeless.

Why does this have to be so hard? Why didn't I get the help I have required? Why didn't anyone stop to help me even after my release from the medical ward after a suicide attempt? (my second one only this year) Why has nothing changed or happened? Does nobody even care? Am I not enough to have support? Why won't my family help me? Why do they get mad? Why can't anyone understand? Why can't I understand? Why is nobody hearing my cry for help?

Why am I still here? ....

Constantly having bad experiences, constantly am being shoved under the carpet and ignored. I NEED HELP - please help me 😞

Why is this SO hard!?! I just don't want to be alive..

35 replies

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In response to: Heart sinking

CheerBearSenior Contributor21 June 2017, 8:42 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

In response to: Heart sinking

CheerBearSenior Contributor21 June 2017, 8:43 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

Hey @Former-Member. I'll come past for a while if you'd like? I too find the forums amazingly helpful and supportive so I think it's great you're here while things are so hard.

It can be exhausting to keep trying to reach out when it feels like there's nothing or no one who can/will be able to help.

Another option may be a community mh worker? You'd be able to have more than the 10 sessions, and I'd imagine they'd be able to work around barriers like your selective mutism.

(Not sure what happened to the post above sorry)

In response to: Heart sinking

Unknown userMember21 June 2017, 8:43 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

We love having you in our forums @Former-Member and will be there for all the downs as well as the ups.

In response to: Heart sinking

Unknown userMember21 June 2017, 8:48 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

@CheerBear

I used to be with a community worker.. but they all deserted me and took me off of my medication cold turkey without warning.

I just feel so done with everything in all honesty.

@Former-Member

😞

In response to: Heart sinking

CheerBearSenior Contributor21 June 2017, 8:54 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

Wow, that must have been a really hard experience @Former-Member. I have had my fair share of not so great experiences with support services, and as much as little makes up for some of it, it has helped me to keep pushing on until I've found the 'right' ones. Even though it feels exhausting and not fair.

I can understand it can feel to be done with it all. Only days ago @Phoenix_Rising rising reminded me of something that helped when I felt done and like I just didn't want to do anything anymore. It was about this time of the night and she reminded me that right then, really there was little I needed to 'do' except for get through. I'm wondering whether tonight it might help to think just of tonight, and what you can do to get through just tonight?

In response to: Heart sinking

Unknown userMember21 June 2017, 9:14 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

@CheerBear

Sorry to hear you have had bad experiences too. Just don't think I want to hold on anymore... help seems imaginary now. Nothing has helped.

In response to: Heart sinking

CheerBearSenior Contributor21 June 2017, 9:30 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

@Former-Member - I get how hard that can be, especially when nothing before feels like it's helped. I also know how sometimes help and support can come, even when you least expect it too and in places you might not have thought or tried before.

For tonight, is there anything that you've been able to do before to get through when you've felt like this? Would it help to distract with a light hearted thread or have a look through something like coping tools on one of the threads, and pick something?

(I say this being aware how much I feel can be infuriated sometimes at the suggestion to just try a coping tool too, so feel free to disregard anything I say that isn't helpful)

In response to: Heart sinking

Unknown userMember22 June 2017, 5:31 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

Hello @CheerBear

Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier - I tend to close everything and everyone off when I get to a point of crisis.

Thank you so much for chatting with me and I am sorry for putting you through this.

Take care 💛

In response to: Heart sinking

CheerBearSenior Contributor22 June 2017, 5:49 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

It's ok @Former-Member and you don't have to apologise 🙂 Trust that people who sit or chat during tricky conversations here are doing so by choice, as I was last night. I sometimes shut people out and close down when I'm struggling too, as many others do as well. Hope today was a little better for you.

Take care of you too 💛

In response to: Heart sinking

Unknown userMember22 June 2017, 7:35 pm AEST

Re: Heart sinking

@CheerBear

Today was difficult - same mindset, different day. Just getting tired of everything. I contacted the only person who I thought might come with me to a GP, but she said she was too busy and didn't have any time at all.. and I said that we could go whenever she is free... But she said she's not. I think that was the polite way of saying, no thank you.

I mean -- that is when you get to the point of realising that you literally have nobody and nobody in your life that cares about you.

Hope your day was well x

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.