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Something’s not right

on the edge

Unknown userMember

on the edge

I feel destroyed. So down. So frail. So unwanted & lonely. I have been having temptations lately to hurt myself severely again. Commit suicide, I suppose.

My CYMHS team has given up on me. I have given up on myself and my family won't get me support and won't allow me to get support. They also said that if I did do anything again that they will disown me. I honestly - don't want to hurt them and I don't want to have to go through the same difficult aftermath as I did last time.

I am afraid. I am afraid that I won't be accepted help (like what has happened before) and I am afraid that I will just continue be dragging on the floor like I am right now and hit breaking point and will do something irreversible.

I feel so stuck and so confused on where to turn. I don't honestly know what to do. I dont see a future in all honesty. I am not living this life. Things shouldn't be like this.

What do I do in this sort of situation? I don't know.

106 replies

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In response to: on the edge

Unknown userMember

Re: on the edge

@Eden1919

ohh - I have heard about what you are going through now also. 😞 Things & thoughts so similar. Focus on yourself ,, do something nice for yourself. You deserve more than this

In response to: on the edge

Unknown userMember

Re: on the edge

@Former-Member do you find that connecting on here helps somewhat?

Is there somewhere that you can go and feel safe, the thoughts may not stop but its about trying to hush them and slow them down.

Have you tried something relaxing: music, mindfulness, cooking?

In response to: on the edge

Unknown userMember

Re: on the edge

@Former-Member

I just connect on here as a cry for help I suppose... it hasn't necessarily helped 😞 Yet, I am only very new here.

I have tried mindfulness & music.

Two weeks ago, I set a plan to take my life -- tomorrow. I just am trying to shove all that away to the back of my mind.. but it is so loud

In response to: Re: on the edge

Unknown userMember

Re: on the edge

I am glad that you are connecting on here @Former-Member

I wondering if you have someone that you can speak to right now?

If not would you feel comfortable calling

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

They can be very helpful in supporting you to develop a plan to keep you safe for now

In response to: on the edge

Unknown userMember

Re: on the edge

@Former-Member I have selective mutism... so talking is something almost impossible for me. It is very frustrating and upsetting and the reason why I get turned away from getting help most of the time.

Because people get frustrated that I cant talk and I keep repeating what I WANT to say or reply... but it is as though words are trapped inside my mind.

😞

Online chats also tend to be very painful

In response to: Re: on the edge

Unknown userMember

Re: on the edge

Have you tried writing what you want to say down? This can be less confronting, less stressful @dazedanais

Some people find writing to be very therapeutic either to read back to themselves at a later point or to screw up and throw away - an active way to give a voice to thoughts and "empty" our minds

In response to: on the edge

Unknown userMember

Re: on the edge

Oh -- I have done that way too much. It is never enough @Former-Member

In response to: Re: on the edge

Unknown userMember

Re: on the edge

How about drawing or painting, is this something you have tried @Former-Member. Maybe a little creativity to give your thoughts an out?

In response to: on the edge

Unknown userMember

Re: on the edge

I am not very artistic - definitely when it comes to anything with drawing or painting. It just seems oh so hopeless & I feel very helpless. @Former-Member

In response to: Re: on the edge

ethSenior Contributor

Re: on the edge

Hi @Former-Member. How are you going this morning?

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

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