on the edge

I feel destroyed. So down. So frail. So unwanted & lonely. I have been having temptations lately to hurt myself severely again. Commit suicide, I suppose.

My CYMHS team has given up on me. I have given up on myself and my family won't get me support and won't allow me to get support. They also said that if I did do anything again that they will disown me. I honestly - don't want to hurt them and I don't want to have to go through the same difficult aftermath as I did last time.

I am afraid. I am afraid that I won't be accepted help (like what has happened before) and I am afraid that I will just continue be dragging on the floor like I am right now and hit breaking point and will do something irreversible.

I feel so stuck and so confused on where to turn. I don't honestly know what to do. I dont see a future in all honesty. I am not living this life. Things shouldn't be like this.

What do I do in this sort of situation? I don't know.