when is it time for hospital

I've came to bed @outlander,had a bath and took half a calmative, probably needed the full one.Think the past 7 days of high anxiety has just hit. Emotional distress,I get cranky with Mum and I know that is my stress and I keep having that awful feeling something is going to happen soon. Watching her decline hasn't been easy.I am worried that she will fall,and need the nursing home and without work I could not financially keep this house going.

It's the people I know who worry me,those ones who can't control their f***** mouths and the b***** I know.Controlling my paranoia is another problem.

My ex.Good Case Study

1.In the 15 months,not once did he ask me on a proper date,always came here.

2.Never wanted me at his place,a farm out of town,now I wonder what was going on.

3.Got the shitswhen I called him his full name,the name of his father who I gather he had a trauma from.

4.Mentioned his ex briefly.

5.He could act like a child,when he moved my furniture when he rang he had a stutter.Other times perfect .Rang me when he was away and he claimed to be frightened.The bloke I saw the other day, complete opposite as I said complete different character,sick smirk on his face whilst walking behind me.At times as well he'd be very sensitive and get upset easily,this would make me feel guilty.I believe he has a multiple personality

6.He could ignore me for days.

7.Very immature and childlike when it came to his love of his dead mother, something not quite right.

8.When he hugged me here,I got really bad energy off him,I don't believe in it but just knew.

Forget about him now but can't help but reflect on his behavior.

When I was

In relation to the ex @outlander,I have myself for trusting him,and I feel sick that I told him private stuff.Like last week when I txted him when I seen the engagement on Facebook.I had told him in a txt if he saw me respect the fact that if I saw him I don't want to know him.I think he saw me the other day before I saw him,he was smirking and when he followed me it did creep me out.As I said I am fairly certain he has a multiple personality.One is the insecure one,the other is a creep.I know how to attract them.

@outlander,I don't know if therapy can help you,but if you feel you need to spill your guts we'll have it.I might recommend @Sans911 on this as my perspective might warp you.

The ex, @outlander,looked like he was undressing me with his eyes,it was creepy .For the first time I saw a person I didn't know but did see it that night remember when he got violent in April and told me to take my l***.He used my loneliness the sick ba*****.I don't know what he was hiding.

Sorry just saw this then @outlander

what is happening?

Hi @outlander

I know you feel really helpless

You will not always be a slave girl unless you want to be

First you need to recover from your operations - the third day - more-or-less - is the worst day - that's when people start to cry as it all catches up with them - I ought to know - I have had enough operations

You don't want to be a slave girl so I know that when you recover you will start lookin for your way out which starts with standing up to your mother and I know you hate all the fighting so you leave it until you are recovered

But only you can do it

Now it is a long time ago when I was caught in the pain of the death of my son that my priest told me that he couldn't change anything for me - only I could do that - so I changed just about everything -

And it was hard and I got depressed but I persisted and broke through into a really great time I call my second adolescence - I had freedom

But first - and for a long time - I had to verbally fight with my mother - and even then - until she died - fight with her in my mind

It's not fun at all - but freedom seldom is as we are learning it

But you will - you will

Dec - kind wise owl