when is it time for hospital

I'm still alive unfortunately @Sans911 and @outlander,been following but not in a good headspace and can't focus at the moment.Had to post a thread Friday night @Re: Emotional pain when I was in a crisis,had severe emotional pain.
I'm at a high level of anxiety,did my third 12 km walk ,just got home and I'm distressed,could walk another 12 kms due to the way I feel and know I won't feel better.Try and get back on tonight.@Sans911 hope you are OK.Dont like the idea of you sleeping in the car but understand I go to the bush to walk to escape from my mother and a life I don't want or like.

Ask away @outlander

Dec

Ok so...........
Well you guys no my past about the SA so i dont really have to go into any details.....
But of recent i kinda get these feelings that im curious to know what a normal loving (and intimate) relationship would be like. These do embarrass me quite alot because usually im ok with being single and techniqcally a 'virgin' but now im more curious about wanting to be with someone else and actually having a relationship.
Dont worry my cheeks are a red as a tomato writing this...
@Owlunar@Sans911@Former-Member@Former-Member(only if your up for it)

That's okay @outlander

Every long term relationship is different - in fact every relationship is different

Loving relationships - wow - that is an entirely different scene from what you have seen but I was in two long-term relationships - my marriage was sad rather than bad and my ex-bf and I had it very good for quite some time

But sex is unique and better when people really care about each other - feelings for each other develop and this makes it much easier to move to each level when the time comes

And this can be better when each person cares about the other person - and no one gets rushed or pressured - it's very natural and very nice

You have been though some very strange times in your life which have to make you wonder and yet - at your age it is extremely normal to be curious about the future and such relationships

I have read that you are exploring your sexuality - very natural also and in this day and age - appropriate - so my thoughts are

First you need to find someone you really like and feel you could love and that is not easy for you in your position right now - but ask away - there is no need to be embarrassed - it is all perfectly normal and I don't have any kind of problem discussing it

Dec

@outlander Wise owl @Owlunar has given you a pretty much perfect answer, hun. And nothing to be embarressed about. In fact, I am proud of you for wanting to ask these things. It's normal and completely right at your age. And yes, you probably haven't seen perhaps much of a healthy, loving relationship. I've not been married, but had two very serious partners in my life, both of whom I loved very much. One ended amicably, the other not so. I had also dated a number of men I met online and offline, and had casual partners where the main attraction was mostly physically based, and for company. I am now single again, and because of my depression making me feel less worthy, I am not looking for any kind of relationship right now. I do miss sometimes company, and sharing good times, laughter and love, but I am pretty particular about my needs in someone, probably too fussy, but I don't mind not having a partner right now.Someday, I hope there is someone really special and kind for you.