when is it time for hospital

Hi @outlander

I had to take the day off yesterday but I have read back over the last couple of days in your thread and alas - we could all see this happening and I have serious thoughts about your mother's MH actually

My idea is that you text her or ring her and ask her to send you some money to entertain your sisters - I know this mightn't happen by surely she can if she wants to - she would have had to give you her phone number in case of emergencies and I hope she has - wow - she is a highly irresponsible person and I have said enough about her

You are in no condition to deal with all that laundry - you must not pull those stitches and I know it's really hard for you not to do these chores but right now - no - it's not on - good therapy for someone else to come home and find the laundry piled high with dirty clothes - aw - this is a nightmare for you

Panic attacks - yes inevitable at times and no shame - other people have them - I didn't exactly panic on Wednesday evening but I felt pretty rattled and shaken - I do understand - someone else has recorded theirs also - you are in good company - I have been pretty useless since Wednesday myself and I am a freak-out-artist - I rattled at my taxi driver all the way to the Imaging Clinic but I was alright after the MRI but when I got the results - yeah - major disaster - I surely do understand how things are for you right now and I have had a longer life-time of chaotic moments

I feel so much for you - you are stuck here atm but please look after yourself

I think one of your sisters is about 14 - I am not sure - but she is old enough to pull her weight around the house now and if she hasn't started or doesn't want to it really is time for her to get used to it - put some pressure onto her - stop cooking for her - she will soon learn to fix something for herself if you stop

This is really hard lesson time - not for you but for those who really need to get themselves into get-real mode about a few things

This is one of your spare Granma's speaking - I hear you and wish I was there to sort it out

Dec

Not lurking @outlander

Here for you for a while - I know things have been super-tough

I think that is a great poem you wrote - it really gets to the way you feel - the test of a poem is how it can make another person feel and yours really touched my heart

Gentle hugs

Dec

Hi @outlander

I didn't know you had your results yet - I missed that post -

So what's happening? It doesn't sound good at all

Dec

@Owlunar

I was told that I can continue doing all my usual chores but be careful when hanging clothes out on the line. All thats done for now just folding and putting it away.
Its seriously driving me insane not being able to do anything.
I just vaccumed the floor with my left hand and done the dishes.
That poem is exactly how I feel that I can write bettween the guidelines.
Yes I got my results yesterday. Ill tag you into the other thread where it is.

Thank you @CheerBear@MDT@Former-Member
I want to dissapear. Ive had enough of it all. I want to go.

is life worth it @Former-Member

i want to give up. i dont want to be here at all.

if i didnt think it would destroy my sisters......

this is going to be a very long next few weeks. i will have to take more time off work. shes probably going to fire me. i have no one on the outside world. no friends. family? whats that

when mum gets back i wont get respite becasue i cant afford to get away now. unless i stay in my car thats the only place to go. i have no where else to go and im not going to hospital again.

im over it. im over it all.

it hurts to breathe. it hurts to live.