when is it time for hospital

i have never had it that bad before @Former-Member

ive had the fear somones watching but not actually seeing things that werent there.

that was super scary! i was so scared that something was actually going to come and get me

I have had scary times @outlander,its strong and powerful when you are at your most vulnerable.I ve had it telling me to SC,that I'm worthless,won't win.These thoughts are what I think everyday.My safety measure has always been to lay down and have a sleep as it relieves the pressure .

1. keep my job or not?
I want to keep t because I like spending time there and having a task to do to. It gets me out of the house. It give me some extra cash too so I can save and do the things I want to do
if I give it up ill go back to being a family slave and I dont want to do that but at the same time I dont know If I can continue working the way I am. This job was suppsoe to stop me from caring from my sister all the time but its just added to it.

2. studying?
I want to study and my new course is about to start. Maybe after this course give it a rest for a little while then go back to stdying after a break.

3. Psychologist visit increas?
I dont think I can afford to do 2 sessions a week nor do I have enough time so probably not a good idea.

4. Change Gps?
This one has helped me but shes making me feel uncomfortable

all the others I cant even think of right now. Its so overwhelming to do whats right and being a good person and trying to help everyone and help myself. I just dont know

i cant work any of this out. why is it so hard. why cant i make decision

i jsut want to cry, no doubt i will.

i dont get it how can someone be ok one minute then not the next i dont get it. its so confusing.

i dont want to be like this anymore. i want to be a better person. i cant even trust my own judgement

i dont know anymore.

i loved that the helpline helped me. but its not helping my depression. it helped my paranoia

@outlander,I don't know why you are focusing on these, maybe yes if the doctor is making you uncomfortable,find another one.The job as @soul says gives you a purpose in life.I today and most days have nothing to wake up to,for someone who used to work long days it's worthless and no life.Giving up your job is SC,you will be more vulnerable to your family and feel less good about yourself.

As I said ,give things up or lose life from effects of mental illness is cruel.You can't afford to pay psychologist and one session is enough,she wouldn't know what to talk about on the second and it's draining one session.

Keep life going otherwise you end up like with no purpose outlander no more.Talk tomorrow.And you need to work for those 12 kids you want to have!Lol 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🚶🚶🚶🚶👭

Just don't,whatever you do give up your job,or study two things that provide hope and prospects for the future.I took it day by day 4 years ago in "recovery",I now AM stuffed because of it.Counseling was a waste of time did nothing but hand the reins over to someone who can't drive.In reflection the best thing for me would be to have a job,that was my self worth.Recovery can means many things.To me now it means keeping in the saddle @outlander,not keeping trying to get back on which is what I am doing,even finding a stump to help I can't.Talk tomorrow