when is it time for hospital

thank you @MDT@Former-Member@NikNik@Shaz51@Zoe7

for all your help. im trying so hard to not to see these figures. im still waiting on a helpline to connect to me. im so trying ive tried everything that i can think of

including:

Zoe Method

using the 5 senses

counting one colour of items in one room

watching tv

had a shower

drinking so hydrated

kept busy by doing dinner and cleaning

colouring in and sorting my art stuff

i dont know what else to... im waiting on KHL i hope they dont tell me to go to ED im not going there. i need to control it here

@outlander I am going to suggest something that may seem a bit out there but...

Draw the figures you are seeing. There are two reasons why I am suggesting this:

1. you will have an actual visual image in front of you
2. you will have then transferred the image from your mind (where it is taking over your positive thinking) to a place outside of your mind

This may seem to be a really out there thing to suggest, and maybe a little confronting, but the transference from abstract (in your mind) to concrete (in front of you) may shift your focus and fears.

ok ill give it ago @Zoe7 im open to anything and everything right now

Ok @outlander - use black or dark colours for the outline then get back to me when you have done that and we'll tackle step 2

ok @Zoe7

do i upload as i go @Zoe7

nope @outlander just draw

ok.... next step? @Zoe7

ok - step 2 @outlander

Line up all your favourite colours in front of you in order - most favourite to least favourite.

Use your favourite colour to colour in the parts of the image that you think are the most 'danger' to you.

Use the other colours to fill in the gaps!

You are doing really well.

@outlander - I am concerned that every day appears to be a struggle for you. Are you still able to function whilst you are feeling the things you are? Working with the horses and their environment, taking your sisters to school, looking after your Pop and so on?

Or does doing those things take your mind off the thoughts?

If you are using all the strategies and they aren't helpful, perhaps you do need a stronger intervention. I know you are on meds and have been in hospital before but I worry that the frequency and severity of those negative thoughts appear to be getting worse.

I say this because I care and don't want bad things happening.