when is it time for hospital

its paranoia and its freaking me out. theres nothing there and yet im seeing someones shadow everytime i look at the window. mums and her bf are home and so are my sisters. i had to leave the house and i was constantly checking my mirrors. its freaking me out. i keep telling myself theres nothing there but i cant shake the feeling.

its worrying me and making me want to pace but at the same time i feel frozen in the corner of the house where ishut everything. but yet im worried. i cant walk in the kitchen or anywhere else.

i jsut keep saying theres nothing there. i dont get it, i know where its stemming from but i shouldbe be feeling like it @Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member

i cant she will senf me to hospital

im not going back @Former-Member i cant and i cant afford to not now. i have the kids while mums on holiday soon

i can lay down and rest, i cant sit still im more like pacing in a circle in a corner of the house

i hate this

i really hate it

my meds shouldnt be giving me that affect ive been that for ages

i cant @Faith-and-Hope

i cant tell her

please dont make me tell her

i dont want to go back

please dont make me go back there

i have to go out and i dont want to. i dont want to leave my corner. i dont want to

why is this so hard

im scared and i have nothing to be scared of