when is it time for hospital

Trying to respond to all earlier posts.....

@Sans911

in regards to this morning and the car mirror- I did do the 'what now' scream/groan only I was in the car banging my head on the steering wheel. My physical health I thought was going ok but since late this morning its gone to shite. My headache has turned back into a migraine yet again. I cant keep up with it. I dont get how I can have a constant headache that no longer responds to medications without there being a reason. Yes at least the nightmares are going in regards to the accident though not with anything else.
I fear everything. I hate living like it but thats the way I am now. I fear being alive.

It seems I cant get away from my so called family. They matter to me yet I mean nothing to them except that im a slave. I have an easy life to them and I put everything on myself says them who rings up while im at my other work yelling and screaming at me all those things I said before that I was getting in trouble for. I dont have the energy to fight back anymore. There were a few things I wanted to say but its better for me to shrivel away into my own bubble. These forums are the only thing saving me right now.

I called a helpline tonight and they played the 'use your coping strategies' thing. If they were working then I wouldnt have run them. They arent working. Not even my music or my art is saving me.

I cant think of their words as blah blah blah. Ive tried it. I tried using f&h method of the barrier but their words pierce it and always get through it. I tried to ignore them but what they say confirms what I feel about myself already and nothing nays otherwise.

I tried big sis, I tried to fight the urges. Ive been fighting them all afternoon and couldnt do it. I fought them for however many hours it was since 10am this morning until after lunch time. I tried sitting with it and also arguing against it but it over powered me. Im sorry 😞
I feel like such a burden. Im using these services and getting no where. Im wasting their time.

@Former-Memberyes I have to worst luck with everything. Thinking of selling this car anyway, it seems to be bad luck. I did go to work today. It was going ok until that stupid text and phone call. How embarassing thank god no clients were around and I was in the middle of a paddock fixing someones horse up. Im sorry I dissapointed you too Li1. I couldnt fight them and ill have a few more scars to add to the other ones.

@Former-Member how did you go with your studying?

@MDT
I am a failure. It hard to ignore my family when I live in here. If I dont listen then I get into trouble even more so if I dont act on what they say.
I can give advice yes, but so can everyone else here. I can only speak from my own experiences. Its ok for me to give advice and ive been taking some of my own advice and trying to implement them yet still cant get any better. I like to help others. Id hate for people to be in the same position as me which I know quite a few are or have been in something similar through their lifetimes.
Ive been trying to make changes, even the small ones. Thats how I got into this latest trouble.
I have tried to pass on the mothering roles to my mother instead of me doing it and then now mums bf isnt happy with it and yells at me for it.
My mother has obviously spoken to him as it was too convientent for this to come up and everytime those 2 are left alone they talk about what ive done wrong and instead of my own mother speaking to me her bf does it.

@Queenie
the evidence that im a failure is everywhere. There are too mnay things for me to list and right now I cant think of a lot of things. Bu right now thats all I can see. Im just onebig mistake of a human being. I dont even know what im still doing here. I mean on this earth not the forums. No one wants me anyway. Im not loveable. Im a horrible human being.

Trying to respond to all earlier posts.....

@Sans911

in regards to this morning and the car mirror- I did do the 'what now' scream/groan only I was in the car banging my head on the steering wheel. My physical health I thought was going ok but since late this morning its gone to shite. My headache has turned back into a migraine yet again. I cant keep up with it. I dont get how I can have a constant headache that no longer responds to medications without there being a reason. Yes at least the nightmares are going in regards to the accident though not with anything else.
I fear everything. I hate living like it but thats the way I am now. I fear being alive.

It seems I cant get away from my so called family. They matter to me yet I mean nothing to them except that im a slave. I have an easy life to them and I put everything on myself says them who rings up while im at my other work yelling and screaming at me all those things I said before that I was getting in trouble for. I dont have the energy to fight back anymore. There were a few things I wanted to say but its better for me to shrivel away into my own bubble. These forums are the only thing saving me right now.

I called a helpline tonight and they played the 'use your coping strategies' thing. If they were working then I wouldnt have run them. They arent working. Not even my music or my art is saving me.

I cant think of their words as blah blah blah. Ive tried it. I tried using f&h method of the barrier but their words pierce it and always get through it. I tried to ignore them but what they say confirms what I feel about myself already and nothing nays otherwise.

I tried big sis, I tried to fight the urges. Ive been fighting them all afternoon and couldnt do it. I fought them for however many hours it was since 10am this morning until after lunch time. I tried sitting with it and also arguing against it but it over powered me. Im sorry 😞
I feel like such a burden. Im using these services and getting no where. Im wasting their time.

@Former-Member yes I have to worst luck with everything. Thinking of selling this car anyway, it seems to be bad luck. I did go to work today. It was going ok until that stupid text and phone call. How embarassing thank god no clients were around and I was in the middle of a paddock fixing someones horse up. Im sorry I dissapointed you too Li1. I couldnt fight them and ill have a few more scars to add to the other ones.

@Former-Member how did you go with your studying?

@MDT
I am a failure. It hard to ignore my family when I live in here. If I dont listen then I get into trouble even more so if I dont act on what they say.
I can give advice yes, but so can everyone else here. I can only speak from my own experiences. Its ok for me to give advice and ive been taking some of my own advice and trying to implement them yet still cant get any better. I like to help others. Id hate for people to be in the same position as me which I know quite a few are or have been in something similar through their lifetimes.
Ive been trying to make changes, even the small ones. Thats how I got into this latest trouble.
I have tried to pass on the mothering roles to my mother instead of me doing it and then now mums bf isnt happy with it and yells at me for it.
My mother has obviously spoken to him as it was too convientent for this to come up and everytime those 2 are left alone they talk about what ive done wrong and instead of my own mother speaking to me her bf does it.

@Queenie
the evidence that im a failure is everywhere. There are too mnay things for me to list and right now I cant think of a lot of things. Bu right now thats all I can see. Im just onebig mistake of a human being. I dont even know what im still doing here. I mean on this earth not the forums. No one wants me anyway. Im not loveable. Im a horrible human being.

Just reiterating that you are NONE of the things you've labelled yourself as @outlander. You have to believe that! I'm sorry, at the moment I am pretty crap at advice, but I can clearly see from your posts that you are far from a horrible person!

dont be sorry @Queenie i seen your latest post too and commented though im not sure what i can really say to anyone right now.

i jsut dont know what else to do. ive tried everything that people have been telling me to do including going to hospital once against will and then one at own will and i cant get out of this

is there a way to change the title of this thread? the whole thing not for just a few posts?

i feel this doesnt really revolve around my question anymore and is my main thread so would like to change the title of it..

@outlander,you haven't disappointed me!I haven't been on here for a few hours because of the disappointment I feel about my life.Felt I could not help you and @Bubbles3,who I hope is okay when I am struggling myself.I can't offer crisis support when I know what I'm feeling I'm failing to believe it myself.I have been discussing this with @Zoe7.I can't judge you on SH when I do or feel the same chaos in my head and the hopelessness.I get distressed constantly with Hopelessness,even when I was cleaning the microwave this morning,comes from nowhere like someone just donged me one on the head.Instant.

I've been in my wombat hole,my bedroom reading a book this afternoon and had a sleep,really miserable strong wind and been cold with snow on and off.I read to give my mind some respite and it's a way I can "switch off".Never read so many books as this and last year,never had so much time on my hands,which is a problem.This is how I keep "safe",tolerate being alive.

When you are at work outlander,from now on tell your family unless it's a crisis to not ring.You are theoretically on someone else's time and they should have respect for that,unless you left the house like a tornado went through it this morning?

As for luck,I have none,nor can I make any through hard work,can't help you there.The headaches might be stress like I got on Saturday or migraines combination of your stress and how it affects hormones.My mother pissed me off this afternoon,and I had to escape in my bedroom.I don't like how stress affects me or any trigger,it's a worry.

As for @Bubbles3,I spill my guts any thread,and if you want to tag any of us ,do.😉

@Former-Member I was chatting to Bubbles3 earlier on another thread and she did an amazing job in talking about her feelings and what was happening for her. She was actually going to go and eat as she hadn't eaten all day - so I took that as a good sign.

Maybe you could try the same as she did @outlander

Name the first 3 feelings that come into your mind about how you are doing right now. Don't think about it just type the 3 words for those feelings and post.

Great start @outlander now three more - again first three that come to mind