outlanderSenior Contributor
when is it time for hospital
when do you find its time to go to hospital?
im debating whether its the right move for me
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when is it time for hospital
5615 replies
In response to: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
Yes please @Faith-and-Hope if you dont mind
my sisters do this to me all the time so I need to try with this as its a major thing for me.
I dont expect to be acknowldged or anything for what I do but this always stings and no matter how hard I try it always gets to me. If I dont do something for them, take today as an example as you know about my accident im still sufferring migraines and trying to get those under control. She kept pestering me today and I said im not going anywhere or going outside right now please find a movie or something to do for a while. She kept at it and then kept saying things like 'you never do anything for me' 'your so lazy' 'your so boring' 'you never want to do anything'
I tried to ignore them and brush them all but then when they keep saying it and then when I replied today ' please find a movie, just for now ive got a headache at the moment' then she goes onto saying 'yeah and?' 'you have to look after me'
so I replied 'I am looking after you, I just dont want to watch you ride your scooter right now -we are near main street and had a few warnings about strangers atm. Then she just goes back to saying ' you never do anything for me' etc.
I know shes only young and doesnt really understand but it still stings because she has enough understanding to know what headaches and things are and that I will do things for her just not right now. shes nearly 7.
this is just today, it happens quite often.
Ill start with this one for now but theres another major one that always gets to me but step by step hey.
In response to: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
@Sans911
I really dont know how to get myself out of this corner either. I cant afford to move out to my own place and im holding onto the hope that my mother will move out. This is literally whats keeping me here right now otherwise id probably be living in my car. And I cant find that voice either. I dont know how to find it. You seen what happened even just thinking about speaking to my mother about something like staying away from home for a few nights. I cant do it.
Ive been told DBT is really tough though. I dont know how id go with it and ive opted out for not doing groups. Only the individual therapy for now. DBT app?
Im not telling her about the abuse. I have my reasons id rather not say on here but this I know is a very valid point. Just something in my past and present that im not really able to speak about on here as it mgiht identify me. But this one is valid and im not going to tell her about the abuse. I might go through VOC again for this later but not right now. My last VOC therpaist only counted the time and get angry at me when I wouldnt tell her the whole story in the second or first session and they only went for half an hour. I ended it after she spoke to me like that. She made me worse and they are suppose to help not make things worse.
Im suppose to b dealing with a truama tomorrow but ill see how I am tomorrow inregards to migraines. They are ruling me at the moment though today was abit better. I hate styaing up for 24 hrs straight let alone 48 hrs. I dont even know how I was functiong tbh.
Tomorrow If im up for it ill eb dealing with the car accident. Get on top of this now while I can and before t has lasting effects. I know im already suffering ptsd or acute stress disorder. Actually it would be acute stress as it hasnt lasted more than a few months yet. Id rather it not get to that point.
Im wondering is there actually a way that I can request my medical records? Is there actually a way to do that? I know they say I can access my psychologist notes but im wondering if im able to read them legally in a way..
im actually pretty controlled for someone who has all these things. Im more shut myself away rather than be explosive. I explode on the inside not on the outside. Ive seen others do that to and tbh it doesnt scare me it just makes me want to help them. And yes I really needed that sleep 48hrs is bloody ridiculous not to be sleeping.
Ive had these migrianes straight for a week now well since tuesday arvo. I just thought it was from the concussion and couldnt do anything about them. Im worried about tonight though, I can only take a max dose one 2 tablets in one day and ive laready done that so no more unfortuatly. I might have to ring pharmacy or hospital and see if I can take regular pain meds with these ones. I can feel it getting niggly again but not too bad. But id otn want it getting any worse. Ill go la down soon with another heat pack and hope that will help abit too. Im hoping im through the worse with the migraines now though.
In response to: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
yes im very lucky with this boss. i dont want to psuh it though. i havent really been in this job all too long and im sure im easily replaced. @Former-Member
i know how hard it is to get out f bed. honestly i just want to saty there right now.
nope if i get a bad feeling i wont saying anything really jsut basic things.
and your always in my thoughts. even when im not here i wonder how you are
In response to: when is it time for hospital
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
@outlander ..... it will help if you develop a firm, older sister voice. Call it a bossy voice if you like - kind, but very firm - and say something along these lines ......
"I have a headache and I am not feeling well, so here is what we are going to do .....: I am going to lie down and rest, you are going to need to entertain yourself. You ar certainly old enough to do that at 7 years old. Here are your choices. You can watch a movie, do a puzzle, colour in or draw, or read a book. I am here if you need something important, otherwise please respect my need to rest."
When the whinging and name calling starts, answer with something like this ......
"Please don't call me names and say things that aren't true like that. I am not going to listen to whinging. Speak to me when you have something sensible to say."
After that you will need to grit your teeth and act bored with her whinging, completely refusing to give it any attention. It might take a few tries at this, but the novelty will wear off.
Remember to hug her and give her positive attention when you are feeling better and she is behaving well ..... that is just as important. She has to have a comparison between what to do that gives her a feel-good return, and what to do that gives her a not-feel-good return.
"You can also make deals - give me two hours to rest and then I will watch you on your scooter in the street for half an hour. Deal ?"
"I have a headache and I am not feeling well, so here is what we are going to do .....: I am going to lie down and rest, you are going to need to entertain yourself. You ar certainly old enough to do that at 7 years old. Here are your choices. You can watch a movie, do a puzzle, colour in or draw, or read a book. I am here if you need something important, otherwise please respect my need to rest."
When the whinging and name calling starts, answer with something like this ......
"Please don't call me names and say things that aren't true like that. I am not going to listen to whinging. Speak to me when you have something sensible to say."
After that you will need to grit your teeth and act bored with her whinging, completely refusing to give it any attention. It might take a few tries at this, but the novelty will wear off.
Remember to hug her and give her positive attention when you are feeling better and she is behaving well ..... that is just as important. She has to have a comparison between what to do that gives her a feel-good return, and what to do that gives her a not-feel-good return.
"You can also make deals - give me two hours to rest and then I will watch you on your scooter in the street for half an hour. Deal ?"
In response to: when is it time for hospital
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
@outlander - @Faith-and-Hope has given you beautiful advice. But like she said you have to be firm. Don't back down. Don't give in. Kids (and adults) need boundaries. If you let them get away with stuff they don't learn to be respectful and you suffer unnecessary pain and stress.
DBT is tough, but if you want your life to be better, stick with it and I promise it will make a world of difference. You'll be able to deal with your emotions, deal with other people's emotions, have better relationships and be able to stand up to people and get want you need without arguments. They say some people can by the end of DBT training no longer have BPD traits.
I think your migraines are all connected from so much going on in the last week. The accident, whiplash, trauma, lack of sleep, stress. I know when I get migraines, which doesn't happen very often now, I go to a quiet place to sleep or rest. I know you haven't been able to do that.
I don't think right now reading your medical notes would be helpful to you. I feel you are likely to get more stressed if there's something you don't like.
House get some rest @outlander. Try to put on some nice music if you can, and go to a nice place on your mind. I'm come back in a whole to say goodnight. 💕💕💕
DBT is tough, but if you want your life to be better, stick with it and I promise it will make a world of difference. You'll be able to deal with your emotions, deal with other people's emotions, have better relationships and be able to stand up to people and get want you need without arguments. They say some people can by the end of DBT training no longer have BPD traits.
I think your migraines are all connected from so much going on in the last week. The accident, whiplash, trauma, lack of sleep, stress. I know when I get migraines, which doesn't happen very often now, I go to a quiet place to sleep or rest. I know you haven't been able to do that.
I don't think right now reading your medical notes would be helpful to you. I feel you are likely to get more stressed if there's something you don't like.
House get some rest @outlander. Try to put on some nice music if you can, and go to a nice place on your mind. I'm come back in a whole to say goodnight. 💕💕💕
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
ok so instead of cowering from a 7 yr old -omg thats embarassing- could I get any redder!
Start to have the more 'adult' tone. Wont I loose their respect if I do that though. Im worried they will end up hating more than what they already do..
the other problem with my house I literally have nowhere to rest. I was in the arm chair today and It just wasnt enough, I really just wanted to go to sleep.
I hope you dont mind im wiritng these suggestions down so I can remember them and they wont get lost on here as well.
I always prasie her and try to do what I can where I can for her. Im always emotionally avaliable to both my sisters and phsyically too. Its just hard to do everything all at once and try and keep my own head relativley 'normal'.
I gave in in the end and let her ride her scooter for an hour but then she restarts after an hour thats where I ahd the crafts come into it after I forgot about her craft box. She was ok then for a few hrs and I managed to get some study in. and then when mum comes home she starts up again saying that I never do anything blah blah blah. It just really affects me and ic ant pick out why that is. Shes my sister and I love her to bits and I want to do thing for her but I just cant do everything tlike everyone expects me to do.
Another thing is- my bloody mother. She blasts me about everything. Ive worked out why that is and its as simple as im a mistake and im my fathers daughter (not even on the scene) she blames me for ruining her life and making the rleationship end and she take sit out on me.
Or she give me the silent treatment and casues me a lot of tension and I cant block that out either.
She expects me to eb emotionally avaliable to her and she talks to em about things annoying her esp when she makes it known im not helping out enough or im doing something wrong but when I try and talk she bloacks me out and just gets angry at me and tells me to grow and dela with it myself.
The other thing she does esp when the tension high she like to make it known shes annoyed at me by stomping past me and wont look at me and when I ask things she gives me the simple uh huh treatment.
What can I do about that? @Faith-and-Hope
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
im scared ill loose their respect all together and they will ahte me even more then they already do. Its one of my big fears.
I do want my life to be better, I want all these things to happen and to be better so I can change the future but I just dont know. I dont know what to really do.
Ive hit a stage at the moment where im confused- why arent I getting any better despite doing treeatment. Im still ending up in hospitals and hitting that brick wall with a wondering lost soul not knowing how to get back to 'me'
I really wish I had a quiet place. But I dont. My car thats it. I cant sleep there. Wish I could sometimes. It so hard being here right now. It doesnt feel 'safe' for me to be here. Im physcially safe and my general needs are being met but at the prove of my emotional state....
yes stupid migraines. I wish they would bugger off. Theres only so much tablets I can do.
Yes I guess your right about the records. Might be something to look at later.... or never.
I hope you get some rest Big sis, im listening to msuic as we speak and I can feel my neck getting worse so time to do something about it now then im hoping to head to bed.
@Sans911
In response to: when is it time for hospital
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
@outlander I'm in a period right now where I'm way worse than a year ago and far, far worse than 2years ago, when I had a breakdown at work. It's frustrating, really frustrating, but I figure it really can't get any worse. I just have to take this life bit by bit. Celebrate the small wins. Look forward if you can to a day this is behind us and we can say, thank goodness I'm through that shit lol! So I'm in a similar space as you. I've never been in hospital so much. I was always relatively well. And although I had low self esteem and confidence, I battled on. I struggle to connect with the person I am now, and I find myself perplexed by my behaviour and emotions.
So if you say your sisters hate you right now, can that get any worse either? By setting boundaries with them, but loving them with hugs and doing stuff with them, they'll come to admire and respect you. It's very possible too they are conflicted by your mother's behaviour towards you, and are responding to you from learned behaviours. You can be that better person and set examples of how to treat each other in a loving healthy way.
Rest up lil Sis. I hope you get some quality sleep. Goodnight my angel 😇
So if you say your sisters hate you right now, can that get any worse either? By setting boundaries with them, but loving them with hugs and doing stuff with them, they'll come to admire and respect you. It's very possible too they are conflicted by your mother's behaviour towards you, and are responding to you from learned behaviours. You can be that better person and set examples of how to treat each other in a loving healthy way.
Rest up lil Sis. I hope you get some quality sleep. Goodnight my angel 😇
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
Unknown userMember
Re: when is it time for hospital
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In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
Unknown userMember
Re: when is it time for hospital
The way you describe how you feel @Sans911,is how I feel about myself.
@outlander,I think that's just typical behavior,or maybe I just think that because I grew up with that from my sister's when we fought etc.To me,and when I reared my niece's when they were little girls seem to compete for attention constantly,and at times there's feelings of jeolousy or inferiority behind this behavior.Maybe like @Faith-and-Hope, advised you ,you need to try and look at it from a different perspective.Also thanks for being there @outlander.Ive been asleep but did read your post .I know you are only a tag away. 💓
