outlanderSenior Contributor
when is it time for hospital
when do you find its time to go to hospital?
im debating whether its the right move for me
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when is it time for hospital
5615 replies
In response to: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
Ive just cancelled tomorrow's work as well
I dont know how im going to go at the psychology session either
I dont know what to do
And i cant study and th course is nearly finished ive only got a few days to go. I need to do and pass the next 4 assessments and i havent even started yet
I dont know how im going to go at the psychology session either
I dont know what to do
And i cant study and th course is nearly finished ive only got a few days to go. I need to do and pass the next 4 assessments and i havent even started yet
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
Unknown userMember
Re: when is it time for hospital
@outlander, remember what I said about keeping the momentum of life going,?Sitting at home like me only makes it worse,you need the work and to pay bills,the interaction with the animals and others,you need a purpose to wake up to.Not sitting in a house with screaming kids,and sitting on a volcano.Get into the course,I find it helps to distract your mind.At the moment you are having a L.I.S. moment which is what I'm going through today.Lost In Space. Getting back in a routine is the best therapy otherwise everything will snowball.🌼
In response to: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
Must remain calm
Must remain calm
Must remain calm
Must remain calm
Must remain calm
Must remain calm
Must remain calm
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
Good evening/afternoon everyone
@Sans911I had an ok gp before this one, she just seemed to not know what to do with me so refferred me to another gp in the practice whose interest field is mental health. Ever since ive been going to her though she always pressures me into talking about it. She knows about my SH and also about my attempts and she says shes always happy to see my name pop up, its like a releif for her. Thats reassuring and I like she wants to communicate but im not getting my psychologist involved in all this. Shes the only one I can talk to without everyone having to discuss everything. I need one of those atm. I just want to go there and chat as I want to. Yes thats what I think she kept asking me and I told her I didnt want to tlak about it but she kept pressing on and I said that your triggerring me and then she said that how often do I have flashback I said I dont know they run my life and you making me do it now! She kept pressing until I pretty much changed the subject. And yet she said wow your migraines must be so bad and also I looked tired well duh I hadnt slept and been awake for over 24 hrs and was approaching over that.
Im not use to trying to find a voice. Ive always been shut down by everyone its hard me to speak. Its hard for me to have a normal conversation most days. People must think im such an idiot because my language is ok not blubbering but I have trouble speaking at all. It takes a long time for me to respond or it has to really be something im passionate about to get a few snetences in there.
Even with my gp or my psychologist is hard for me to speak about anything and when people ask how I am I never know what to say because its constantly changing and I find it hard to actually identify my feeling. I mean I get angry sad and all thoe but usually there are so many its hard to distinguish and its easier for me to just stay silent and interanlise things.
The BPD is still fairly new to me and ive only been diagnosed for about a month now. I did read a little bit about it and it made sense to me and actually abit of relief that something was actually fitting me into the category. I mean I know I have anxiety, depression and ptsd but there were a few things that just werent adding up and I couldnt for the lfie of me work out why. 'its just your anxiety' everyone would say but this explained it. Ive been told about DBT and im on the waiting list to see one through the community mh team but thats a miniumum of 6 months wait.
Whe I was describing what I was having when I got to my gp she checked the hospital release forms and agreed with the everything they had done. Wouldnt really matter now anyway but she said the concussion should be gone by now but the whiplash has been giving me the migraines. Ive actaully had these since tuesday arvo but that was with concussion too and was being treated for those but now that im out and my brain has 'settled' the whiplash is causing the migraines which is why the constant pain releif I was taking just wasnt strong enough. They are helping me though thankfully. Hopefully the massage helps too. It wasnt the meds that made my migraine 10x more worse, it just happened to happen as all those toxins were released from the muscles made things much much worse. And no sleep wasnt helping me either.
I wish you were here with me, not for your medical training but just you. Id happily be your housemate
im feeling abit better today. Trying not to push things though. Just easing into things
will talk about my day in another separate post.
@Former-Memberyes I was reading along with the good morning thread just couldnt comment. Theres been a few times ive said I dont want that on the record but they still did. I really wish you werent treats the way you have been. Im honestly trying to find something to say but I also know youve accepted in a way that things propably wont change for you. I just. I dont know what to say except im here anytime, to listen console suggest and more importantly 'hear' you. Im only a tag away just remember that.
Yeah I remembe what you said about keeping the momentum of life going but ive been too sick and sore and achy to be abe to do much else. My neck still hurts like hell too so im trying to be gentle. My boss is ok about my starting on monday. So ill be starting back on an easy day so I can actually start doing things easily. Im trying to get back into a routine of mostly night time things, through the day im flat as a pancake but Im slowly getting a routine of dinner, shower tv and then bed. I ahvent been able to study because of my migraines.
Oh @Sans911that reminded me thanks Lil, I was reading somewhere I cant remember where but they did the same thing to you about assuming things instead of asking.
I havent read my notes form hospital. They wont give them to me because of my family, I dont wan them at home laying around. Im wondering how I can get those records though. Im always here for you too, just tag me. I will always listen.
o my day has been ok. With the help of proper pain relief my headache has been ok and manageable. I got out and about a little bit today. I needed some fresh air.
So this morning I had the kids, my middle sister ended up going out with her friends and I kept my youngest sister amused by tv and also crafty things. She spent a few hours doing those things until mum got home. During that time I managed to read a few of my notes and complete my nurses course- I find out on wednesday my scores but I got them done. Only 2 assessements to go now and thats the common illness ones to do.
My sisters lesson was cancelled from the intrustor but my sisters had a ride when mum got home. I just watched them today. I cant risk any more injuries esp right now and I think bouncing around wouldnt have helped my migriane either.
But I did get out for a few hours into the sun. I tried to stay in the shade though as im light sensitive but it was nice to have the nice sun on me for a bit.
But right now im trying to just stay calm as my sister was sick so its really setting my anxiety off. And im just tryign to remian CALM through all these triggers @Former-Member@soul@Sans911@MDT
also thank you @MDT for what your wrote before. im glad mine made sense. jsut trying to find my way in this world when things never seme to go my way
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
@Faith-and-Hope remember how you were talking about the emotional barriers but being polite?
In response to: when is it time for hospital
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
@outlander You are intelligent, bright and caring. It's such a pity people have rail roaded you & and essentially control your life. You been backed into such a corner. I still will stick by what I've said- you need to find that voice inside you that says I deserve to be respected and cared about. I'm glad you're on the wait list for DBT. You will find it a big help. Even though I've deferred mine for now, I've gained a lot from what I've learned already. One of the first things we did on group was name how we were feeling at that time. Like you've described you're such a mix of emotions, but by naming our emotions, we can get in touch with how we are feeling. Often we let all those emotions treat us like we're in a washing machine! I try to do my DBT app every day, and it helps because I note was I angry, sad, scared or whatever. Did I practice my skills? Did I validate my feelings and where I'm at. When you know how you feel you are more able to do something about it.
I'm glad though you have your psychologicist where the conversation is easier. That's more like how it should be. At some point you need to deal with your issues but it needs to be done in a safe and comfortable environment with trust established.
Yes, I've read a lot of my mental health records. But it was done without permission from the health professionals. And I need to leave it at that otherwise I could get into trouble. Anyway, I have read other, authorised records and there has been many, very incorrect assumptions made. Like when I had multiple wounds on my arm from my kitten biting me, which my case worker knew about, but they assumed they were SH from cigarette burns. Seriously, I dont even smoke! And those records can't be corrected. But I insisted that add a not that what was written was incorrect and should be disregarded.
I think you would be a pretty good house mate, but 2 BPDs together could be explosive lol! And I live in city burbs, which you may not like. Definitely no horses nearby. I'm glad you are feeling a little better today @outlander. You needed that. Sorry you keep getting migraines & neck pain. But you're doing the right things, except a little more sleep would help.
I'm going to get some dinner so I'll be back on a little while.
I'm glad though you have your psychologicist where the conversation is easier. That's more like how it should be. At some point you need to deal with your issues but it needs to be done in a safe and comfortable environment with trust established.
Yes, I've read a lot of my mental health records. But it was done without permission from the health professionals. And I need to leave it at that otherwise I could get into trouble. Anyway, I have read other, authorised records and there has been many, very incorrect assumptions made. Like when I had multiple wounds on my arm from my kitten biting me, which my case worker knew about, but they assumed they were SH from cigarette burns. Seriously, I dont even smoke! And those records can't be corrected. But I insisted that add a not that what was written was incorrect and should be disregarded.
I think you would be a pretty good house mate, but 2 BPDs together could be explosive lol! And I live in city burbs, which you may not like. Definitely no horses nearby. I'm glad you are feeling a little better today @outlander. You needed that. Sorry you keep getting migraines & neck pain. But you're doing the right things, except a little more sleep would help.
I'm going to get some dinner so I'll be back on a little while.
In response to: when is it time for hospital
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
Hi @outander .... what's up ?
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
Unknown userMember
Re: when is it time for hospital
Thanks @outlander,for your thoughts.glad you have a good boss,can't really talk been in bed myself.At least you did get out today.If you don't trust a professional or have that uncomfortable feeling don't spill your guts.It is terrifying at times,you can trust them and they can go and write something that can really hurt you to hear.I now question if we should trust them and you are quite right to have those concerns unfortunately.As for my thread this morning Im not happy with a GP who was unprofessional and conduct towards me was unethical.The sad part is ,is that they can get away with being accountable for their actions.🌹
In response to: Re: when is it time for hospital
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
how do get the barracades up? is there steps to take o things i can practice. i tried not to let something small get to me today and it did @Faith-and-Hope
In response to: when is it time for hospital
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: when is it time for hospital
It takes practice @outlander. Do you want to tell me what it was and we can take a look at it together ? I am not an expert at this, but sometimes another person's persp Clive can help.
I had to practice situations in my mind for a while until I got the hang of it. I started with a situation (can't remember what it was now) where my MIL would make a particular comment, or take an action that left me feeling abused, and it kept happening .....: and I kept walking away feeling abused ..... thinking that it wasn't fair, and hurtful, and shouldn't be happening ...... but you know, there are generally a few different ways that you can handle a situation, and one of them is likely to feel more right for you than others ..... but it's actually more about the consequences than the actual action itself. Vindictive people will be vindictive no matter what you do, so at least let them be vindictive in response to something that you feelnwas a win, rather than feeling that you have suffered a loss AND you are coping with their vindictiveness.
So ..... I would replay an event in my head, and work out what I could have said to shut it down, then practiced a saying in my head, such as this -
My MIL would ring me in the evening and demand an answer about something she wanted to do the next morning, and it would leave me stuttering. Did I want to do this ? What about the casual plans I already had that weren't a decent excuse to refuse what she was demanding ? Why should I answer to a demand ? And she wasn't givin me the courtesy of advanced warning, which was rude ..... there was nothing spontaneously sweet about it ..... it was designed to take me off-guard.
So I practiced a set of answers -
"I'm sorry, I have other plans already. It would help if you gave me more warning." (Then I needed to be able to bundle my son up and take him somewhere, anywhere, the next morning to make it true that we weren't at home, or she would turn up anyway to disprove what I had said)
I am not sure whether I am free, and I have my hands too full with the baby at the moment to look up my diary. I will call you back in the morning. I know it will only take a minute to look it up, but I am running late to bath him and get him to bed, and I don't want to upset him. I am sorry, this is actually not a good time to call and ask me these things because he has a nighttime routine .... perhaps it's better if I just say no on this occasion and we can plan it better next time."
Having rehearsed things like this really helped me to get it right in the moment, and of course she was livid receiving this sort of response and throwing tanties ..... but that part wasn't my problem. I could honestly say that I had had to politely turn her down because she had caught me on the hop and I couldn't manage like that.
I had to practice situations in my mind for a while until I got the hang of it. I started with a situation (can't remember what it was now) where my MIL would make a particular comment, or take an action that left me feeling abused, and it kept happening .....: and I kept walking away feeling abused ..... thinking that it wasn't fair, and hurtful, and shouldn't be happening ...... but you know, there are generally a few different ways that you can handle a situation, and one of them is likely to feel more right for you than others ..... but it's actually more about the consequences than the actual action itself. Vindictive people will be vindictive no matter what you do, so at least let them be vindictive in response to something that you feelnwas a win, rather than feeling that you have suffered a loss AND you are coping with their vindictiveness.
So ..... I would replay an event in my head, and work out what I could have said to shut it down, then practiced a saying in my head, such as this -
My MIL would ring me in the evening and demand an answer about something she wanted to do the next morning, and it would leave me stuttering. Did I want to do this ? What about the casual plans I already had that weren't a decent excuse to refuse what she was demanding ? Why should I answer to a demand ? And she wasn't givin me the courtesy of advanced warning, which was rude ..... there was nothing spontaneously sweet about it ..... it was designed to take me off-guard.
So I practiced a set of answers -
"I'm sorry, I have other plans already. It would help if you gave me more warning." (Then I needed to be able to bundle my son up and take him somewhere, anywhere, the next morning to make it true that we weren't at home, or she would turn up anyway to disprove what I had said)
I am not sure whether I am free, and I have my hands too full with the baby at the moment to look up my diary. I will call you back in the morning. I know it will only take a minute to look it up, but I am running late to bath him and get him to bed, and I don't want to upset him. I am sorry, this is actually not a good time to call and ask me these things because he has a nighttime routine .... perhaps it's better if I just say no on this occasion and we can plan it better next time."
Having rehearsed things like this really helped me to get it right in the moment, and of course she was livid receiving this sort of response and throwing tanties ..... but that part wasn't my problem. I could honestly say that I had had to politely turn her down because she had caught me on the hop and I couldn't manage like that.
