when is it time for hospital

@outlander sorry hun it takes me so long to reply sometime. I'm on my phone currently, and because the memory is so full, it frequently jams and freezes. My laptop died yesterday so I need to take it to be fixed next week.

If I'm right, I kinda get the picture you feel uncomfortable standing up to people. I know it isn't easy, and you don't want to say or do the wrong thing but sometimes we have to assert our own needs and rights. Your Dr or no health professional should push you beyond what is safe and comfortable for you. A mh Dr only said that last week at my assessment. So you need to speak up and say, just very gently and calmly, 'please don't ask me to discuss things which are uncomfortable and cause me distress'. I'm not always going at it either, but I'm learning that I'm the one that suffers the fallout afterwards. I'm the one that is important to be safe, comfortable and heard.

Yes, I have problems with insomnia too, though not as bad as you. My house is an incredibly quiet house. All I can hear right now is my cats water fountain. Luckily I have a very quiet respectful house mate who I don't even know if she home or not some days. She says the same about me.

With BPD experts have said it often a mix of environment, home/family dynamics and social development. I don't see Bpd as the odd one out; I'm just different in my views and ways of the world. Sometimes that's helpful; other times not so helpful.

OK, my lovely Sis I hope you're hunkering down to rest at the very least. Try to get some sleep ok? I'm heading off line in about 10mins after I play a dice game. 💕💕💕💕💕💕😴

Hi @MDT
Thank you for your kind words.
I know my gp and the others arent gossiping about anything except my mental health but i feel like i can't say some things to my psychologist if they are interconnected. My psychologist is suppose to be someone i cant talk to in private. I know its great they all want to help but i want someone to just stay private and not all on medical records. Everything i say to anyone goes on records as in medical records and i just want someone that isnt running through all that somewhere safe for me to speak about anything.
Im not sure if any of this is making sense

@outlander i guess i know the feeling.. but then i guess that is why forums like this exist too.. an avenue for expression.. this whole thing is anonymous after all 🙂
Also remember that any form of mental illness heightens our responsiveness in the amygdala.. so things are not always as we perceive them.. nevertheless i do understand your point.. i feel this way too at times..
@soul and @Sans911 are onto some good points here too.
You are a very strong person @outlander
I hope you had a good rest

@Sans911 no worries about delays. Its really fine.
Standing up for myself or anything that might involve conflict esp with my mother is a big trigger for me and often results in panic attacks.

My gp aleays pressures me into talking about the abuse. I dont like it. It makes me really uncomfortable and i tell her that and she still does it every time . Then at the end she says thanks for talking to me about such and such.

I find now that when im hitting a crisis instead of using my supports i push them away or i avoid them.
It doesnt help that i just want to get in and get out of the gp sometimes. I want to get on with the day and ahe stressed me out to the point my migraine worsened and it took me ages to get back home because of it.

I wish my house was that quiet. I cant wait for mum to.move out then itll be quiet. Though my pop is really loud and like to invite his friends over all the time but at least i can hibernate in my own room if i have to.
My insomnia really gets the better of me quite a fair bit. I did manage some sleep though. And i slept with a hot water bottle on my neck which helped abit too. Ive woken up with the migraine still but ive taken the new meds. And then in another 2 hrs i take it again. It helped last night so im hoping it helps again today. Just have to stay nice and quiet and CALM. Im watching my sisters today. One has a riding lesson this afternoon but im hoping my headaches is gone or more manageable still.

I dont know how i see bpd. I dont really understand it tbh even though i have it. I know ihow it affects mr but not much else. Still learning about it.

Ahhh ok ive got it my migraine just got worse. The meds make it worse for about an hour then it eases. Not sure why.
I hope your day is a better one for you big sis.
Thank you for all your help. I really appreciate it ❤❤❤❤

Hey @soul
Thanks heaps for your response. I did manage to get some sleep. Still got a migraine again today. Bugger!
Hopefully not much longer. Thinking i might have to call it again tomorrow off work. Hope my boss wont be angry.

I hope to be able to look back one day and see that im through it. See that the light will keep shining in that very dark tunnel.
Thank you for helping me and guiding me through this time too. I really appreciate it ❤❤❤❤

@outlander Morning lil Sis. I'm glad you got some sleep. Your GP is definitely overstepping boundaries, and it is unprofessional of her to keep provoking you. I still stand by you should be firm with her and remind her each time it not appropriate and you will discuss when you are ready. She is essentially re-traumatising you every time, which makes recovery very difficult. I can only tell you what I think. You gave to find a voice somewhere. But you also have so many other things pressing on your time and attention it's no wonder your own needs take a back seat.

I've always been a curious soul; I would make a good detective! I was initially diagnosed as bipolar a couple of years ago. But I knew about that and knew it didn't apply to me. So when I was told I have BPD I made sure I found out about it as much as I can. It's helped sometimes that professionals have defined for as it applies to me. I'm fairly high functioning at times, so I can generally know how and what I'm feeling and deal with it. Not always effectively, but I cope. Having done a bit of DBT also has benefited me a lot. Unfortunately, I had to defer it just recently as I'm too unwell to commit properly to it. I need to resolve some deep seated issues first and stabilise myself.

Migraines are really nasty things aren't they? Shane I'm not there to help. I seem to be very good at fixing headaches as I know the pressure points in the hands to press.

I hope your sisters behave themselves @outlander and your day is calm. I may go back to sleep myself now that puss is asleep on my leg. I had a rough nights sleep.

Take care and we'll chat later

@outlander,can understand through experience the mental health nurse I had was in the Drs and they read the notes of him.You put your trust in them and they can go and write any crap about you.If you go into them I would say I "do not want this on record".,They should know by that but don't ask me if you have read the "Good Morning Thread"as I don't trust any of them and it's no wonder there's so many homelessness people and high SC rate because getting help can leave a lot to be desired.

btw @outlander it did indeed make sense

My sisters destroying me. It stings it really does
😞
@Former-Member @Sans911