when is it time for hospital

im at home now. im not really enjoying being here. but im so tired. i called a helpline as well just before i came home. . ive had 1 hours sleep and i feel like crap. i feel sick.

im sick of being sick.

ive got my psychologist tomorrow. i start traauma work tomorrow. maybe i might be able to look at my sisters without almost falling apart and remembering all of what happened.

last night emotions are still hanging around and i feel sick thinking about how my perpretrator has used me like that and then threatened to take his own life if i stopped.

its all too much!

As I said @outlander,you need your space,If your mother reinforces her bf behavior,that shows just how irresponsible she is.I hope something works out.

Hon, you need to raise a shield of politeness .... Its what I have found to be the most effective thing you can do when you are living with emotionally abusive people, and to leave would result in a worse situation for you.

It will take some practice, but it is a form of passive resistance, which is a defence system..

Passive-aggression is where you have a go at someone indirectly by making life difficult for them vindictively, which is what is happening to you. Another form is to make "jokes" about you which are in fact a put-down and not funny in any way, although others might laugh at the nasty humour. If you do the same thing back again, it will escalate, and you are not in a position of financial independence to be able to just walk out. Resisting aggressively will escalate things as well.

Passive resistance is where you are polite, so nobody can say that you are ignoring them or being rude ..... but that is all you are .... polite, but emotionally removed. Try to consider them the same sort of way you consider a bank clerk or a shop assistant .... an aquaintace .... someone you interact with occasionally but don't really have a relationship with.

Relationships need to be based on mutual respect, and if that is not what you have got, then it's an acquaintanceship. Learn to treat your relationships that way and you will find it less stressful that trying to deal with them as something you would like them to be instead of what they actually are.

if your sisters learn to respect you as they grow older, you can change the status of their relationship with you at that later time. Until then raise your shield, and lower it again with people who love and respect you, like your pop.

Thats my advice anyway .....

@outlander

Try to get a good night's sleep @outlander. When we are tired our tolerance level gets shot to pieces and we tend to react instead of just interact. I hope tomorrow's appointment goes well for you. As this is something new, it's normal that you may feel a bit nervous.

Be positive and look at it as a step closer to having a happier life.

@outlander,I just hope you get a good night's sleep.Heed the advice of @Faith-and-Hope and @Sans911.At the moment you are very tired.