when is it time for hospital

hi @MDT

i really only talk about my home life on this thread and one of my old threads from before but thats not active at all now hasnt been since almost the start of the year.

i hate people sometimes, i know theres some good people out there but its hard to find those.

i havent been to see my gp in nearly 2 weeks and tomorrow i start trauma work. i was hoping to have family support by then but i can see thats never gong to happen so gotta do it alone. its not like i can have people holding my hand anyway.

i love the people here. its one of the only good things in my life.

@Faith-and-Hope its so hard to go home and i hate it when this happens. i thought home was suppose to be somewhere safe but when i go home all i cop is the slack. and at the moment going home is really hard becasue of what happened last night. they dont know i know and if i say something then it makes me look even more pathetic than what i already am.

ive been at the horses for a few hours, went for an hour and a half drive, spent abit of time watching the waves and now back at work but i cant go home and i dont know what else im suppose to do.

@outlander - I don't even try to approach my family for support. It's hard to fight ignorance and frankly I have given up trying. I remember talking to my younger "know it all, holier than thou" brother once about some matter and the conversation went something like "I can empathise with you but ......."

The reality was that he had no idea and no inclination to even try to understand.

You're right, surrounding yourself with people who are on the same page is so much better. This is the only place where I can truly feel comfortable. Even then, I can only divulge things within the guidelines.

what am i suppose to do now @soul

i wont be speaking to my family anymore becasue it always backfires.

how am i suppose to be around them when its all a lie

It's a pretty crappy situation when you feel like you can't feel comfortable in your own home @outlander @Faith-and-Hope. I think connecting with nature is a great thing to do. That's why I walk so much.

Being stuck within four walls isn't a healthy thing to do. We are lucky that we live in a beautiful country with clean air and it is safe to venture out.

I'm with you @outlander this is the only place I feel safe to talk about the REAl things going on inside. I hope your mum and bf move soon, that seems to be the only way through for you atm. Anyway, just popping my head in offering my little bit of support. Thinking of you.

I think it's important not to engage with them during a potentially volatile situation @outlander. You feel hurt because their opinion matters to you.

As sad as it seems, if you learn to care less, you won't be hurt as much. Cherish the people in your life who treat you respectfully.

Your vision of what family should be is not your reality. I found myself in that situation. In the end, I had to accept it for what it was and move on. I know it's hard because you are living in close confines with them and your lives are very much entwined. When they say something that upsets you, take a deep breath and realise that it is more a reflection on the type of person they are, than you.

Often times, people who feel guilty about themselves will try to denigrate those around them. For example, your mother knows that she should be shouldering the responsibility of looking after her younger daughters but criticises you instead to make herself feel better.