when is it time for hospital

everytime i take that next step something bad happens.
the first step i took was to be open about how the PTSD was affecting me and that i needed help- guess what happened mum flipped her lid and blamed me for it
then i went to a new psychologist and thought things were going well until they werent anymore. only took 3 sessions until mum was on the back foot and everything was getting blown out of proportions just becasue i wanted some me time
then i was told to do the opposite of what my brain says so i got back on my horse- fell off and had been winded badly and thought id done my neck in yet again
the last time i got my meds sorted i ended up in hospital
the next time i made the step to go abck to therapy my nan ended up in hospital
the next session then i thought id be a little bit more open to get more help and then i ended up talking to friends as a step up becasue i isolate myself so much- the birthday thing gets blown wayyy out of proportion and i get the blame for it and am expected to fix it which i havent yet
the next session i went to therapy she rambled on about some crap for the 2 hours and i realised that in among the crap there was a stroy line to it though i didnt need all the shannanigans she was going on about and comparing me to my sister, but i thought no ill go again and do the homework so that was a step up as i was weary about doing homework, and do you know what happened my horse got sick and had to be put down and then my nan went into a nursing home

and then we have yet another example today
today i went to the podiatrist becasue i thought they could help me fix my foot but they just made me look bad. it cost me nearly 200 today because of it.
i took in 90 becasue thats how much they charge and becasue i got an orthotic it cost me an extra 100 and becasue i didnt have enough i paid the consult and then got the reply "is that all?" right in front of the other customers
made me feel really great- not

what am i suppose to do. i dont know.

if this keeps up i dont know how much longer ill be here

Yes I know @outlander,and you might pay for this orthotic and it's shit. Without a job I'm limited and I wish you would see if you haven't already if you can get a health care card,you shouldn't have to pay in your position.Is your job wages,or cash in hand ?That way you can get podiatrist etc at minimal cost.

Whoever was the receptionist there needs a lesson in delivering a respectable form of customer service.Absolute b**** ,doing that and unprofessional.If you go back ask for a complaint form.

I'm feeling pretty low tonight @outlander, but I wanted to check in on you and say hi. I'm still lurking about the forums, but have made the decision not to say anything too controversial on here which could get me in trouble in RL. Don't think I am thinking of you any less though, I am often wondering how you are.

I think you need to look into a health card outlander,I'd say you are under the threshold and you might get away with not declaring cash.

If she'd done that to me I wouldn't go back , disrespectful.

VOK @outlander,but if you need continued medical care,I urge to to do it ASAP, medication alone is costly.My niece has several horses in constant debt to the vet too.

Talk tomorrow 🙋