when is it time for hospital

@Owlunar@Former-Member
well im still breathing thats a start hey.

This is why I went into counselling in the first place. This is one of the reasons that casue me not to want to be here. Its so hard for me to live with the guilt, and the constant fear ovre everything. You seen the list of triggers.

I really wish I could see change in the near future.
Lets hope it just wont be the rebellious stage thats trying to burst through the seams.
And thats the real rebellious stage, drinking, drugs, casusal sex everything and im not letting that bit come out, and I dont want to turn out like that either- nothing against those who have done any of those but they would be extremley out of character for me. and tbh sex scares the crap out of me

I cant even have a relationship for goodness sake. I cant even be in the same room as men so I cant see how thats possible and besides theres no chance with hpv. Not a chance!

I just need something to change. Something good to come out of this. Something good to happen so I know this world isnt all just the house of horrors. I need something to happen to me to believe that.

I wouldnt do online dating anyway, wayy to many fakes and liars. So ill be staying right away from that. Id rather meet the traditional way and do it like the oldies use to and actually get to know each other first and actually form a relationship. None of this one night stands things.

I know @Former-Member - I understand

Even though I was sharing a house with my ex-husband we were not longer living as man and wife and I found those years terribly lonely but I did have my own social life so I had my own friends when we finally separated

But there was a time when I would walk along the beach feeling lonely - and gradually got used to it

I figure that living alone was better than living in the same house with my then-h - and I still believe that as hard as it is it's better then sharing my life with a man with whom I am not compatible

Not easy - yeah - I know

Dec

@outlander, @Owlunar,yes I have always been a loner,think I always will.I think with the depression I have had, and the thoughts of SC, these experiences have been more trying to find a reason to live.I don't know,at times I think I'm just clutching at straws

i need something good to happen. im starting to loose my mind @Former-Member

Hi @outlander,

Im about to head off but I'm going to send you an email before I do. I wont be long

Hi @outlander

Its Arie here. I have sent you am email