when is it time for hospital

Hi @outlander

You feel as if everything is your fault but the truth is that you are not that powerful - you are barely battling from day to day - you can't cause all the chaos around you.

I know this - and people can say the most realistic thing

It was way before you were born but after my son died I spoke about the system on a Current Affairs progamme on TV and it went to air just before Prince Andrew and Fergie got married.. I asked my mother if she saw me on TV and she blew a fuse - she was furious - she told me I shouldn't have done that and I ruined the Royal Wedding. I was so flaggergasted I didn't have an answer for that but - hey - how could a person in Australia ruin something as fantastic as a royal wedding?

Of course that's extreme - but it's not all your fault and logically I can see that and know that but for you - it's diferent - you are caught in that trap atm - and the time is fast coming when you will have to break from your family and let them sink or swim for your own sake - for your own well being - for your own life.

That man who lives where you are supposed to live - he is one creep - he seems to have some control over your mother as well as the rest of you - I would not have tolerated that - for a woman to have a man who is not her kids' father living in the house with them is a bad scene to begin with -

It's best you keep posting and getting it out of your system - it will take time - of course - if you move in reverse long enough you will go out the other side

I am wishing you all the best

Dec

Thinking of you @outlander

Here for you

Hi @Owlunar I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are BB xxxooo

@BlueBay

I'm sorry - some time back I told you I could not continue with you on your journey and this is still true

You tagged me a couple of days back - I find this very hard and now you have again - please don't do this in future

It's a pity- I understand - I am another person who has abandoned you - but alas - I must think of my own mental health first

Dec

Hello Claire my beautiful Grand-girl 🙂

I love you

I'm sorry for all the bad you go through, but secretely and very selfishly, I'm kind of grateful for it - because otherwise I never would have 'met' you.

Our experiences in life shape our souls and yours shines brightly for me

@Former-Member - it is good you took a step back. Sometimes when something makes us distressed we need to take a step back and rest. Don't "hit yourself" over what happened. People prey on the vulnerabilities that we have. That is not fair and just plain rude and mean of them! These people are the ones who should be ashamed of themselves.

@outlander - how are you today?

hi @Owlunar

i just feel like im not good enough and i dont deserve to be here. i deserve all of this stuff thats going on. i know im not powerful enough to cause the chaos but im not helping the matter getting any better. To be honest i dont know how to fix things or help make things better.

i thought i was keeping things better by not saying to people how i feel and keeping them in the dark, but it seems telling people in life form just gets me in trouble as well. i dont know whats the right thing to do.

wow you were on TV! thats pretty cool despite it being for something not so good in your life and im sorry it was for that your mother sounds jsut as bad as my bloody mother. cant win no matter what you seem to do anyway.

im scared @Owlunar i jsut i dont know what to do. i now im stuck in a trap and i know things have to change but im scared. what if i move out and i dont cope? what happens to me then?

i need to some reverse but in the right direction. like walking backwards but towards the positive things

oh and also ive read all the things on your thread. please know i am 'listening AND hearing' what your saying and what your going through. im keeping up with your story as best as i can. just sometimes i dont really know what to say. ive never lost a child and so therfore would never know how your truley feeling but i have lost my nan and she was very very close to me so i can certianly sympathise with you.

its a little hard being on your thread at the moment. its not your story and its not what anyone else is saying on there. i jsut i dont know.. i dont really know what to say but i do care, i care alot!

and a little bit of my past is coming back to haunt me with the experiences i had on here before. i know what its like to have to limit what i do and what threads i can go on. i made a massive mistake and im still paying for it now and i think the other person is too. i can only hope things will get better for them.

but know that i am following your thread, please dont take jsut my 'likes' to personal sometimes i jsut dont know what to say

thanks @BlueBay

@Former-Member you too cute and i love you too

that is very true. if i didnt have MI as bad as it is i wouldnt have met you or other loveley souls on here and creating these special and very special bonds with like minded and/or caring people who actually listen

i really dont know how my soul can be bright when the rest of me is dark though Niqua