when is it time for hospital

@Anony18

i know small steps. im always taking small steps and still never get anywhere except backwards 😞

at least im getting abit of sleep each night. thought that would help but im still just as tired and im never rested.

i know its a big thing to process but i get it and understand at least what it is. but thats about it.

yeah a real friend would be nice but i guess itll have to do hey

@Owlunar

i dont know anymore. i cant keep up with the logic anymore.

its obviously too much to ask to be able to trust your own mother isnt it. and she said that becasue she wanted me to come home early. her bf is jsut as bad! omg actually he is worse. and my mother wouldnt even talk to me until the 4th day i was in there so it took them 4 days to even want to speak to me again

no please dont worry about me, its not worth putting yourself through that, you have enough on your plate as it is.

yes everyone blames me, for reasons im still trying to work out, i can see why i blame myself for everything i suppose thats their reasons too.

i dont deserve to be here. im not worth it, im just a stupid pathetic girl.

I feel stupid and pathetic old girl tonight outlander,so easy to feel sorry for yourself and to see a narrow perspective of the world,not the big picture which can be scary,and confronting.The trouble is outlander,we internalize built before any one puts it on us,then if we have other people putting their crap on us,we feel defeated.
@Anony18and @Owlunar@@thanks for your post this afternoon,I got distressed when I read them,very stressed and had a sleep this afternoon due to headache which I believe is blood pressure.I do feel stupid and pathetic outlander,my loneliness at times,gets me in trouble.

i hope your feeling abit better now @Former-Member i read what happened to you but im not really sure what to write in regards to it. i hope everything works out for the best for you though.

i dont deserve to be here, i think i should go

Outlander,Where are you going to go?If you find a wombat hole let me know I will join you when we crawl in it,I will go in it first,age before beauty! Laugh. This is one place writing your thoughts you are safe in the cyber world,the only other way you can talk is to your animals.I understand,when my world went bad and chaos was in my head,I took my mother out but the enjoyment wasn't there,nor the lust for life,I just wanted to come home and go to bed.Withdrawal is so easy,the only good thing was I got out of the 1771 jury fine.Rang up and got a good customer service block who got rid of it.But yes, that idiot I friended on Facebook made me feel violated.

i can only hope its as nice as a wombat hole @Former-Member dont even deserve that.

i want to be normal, i dont want to live with mental illness and all those physical health problems.

i dont know if life can get better.

im glad you got out of your fine and that went well for you. its abit of relief i bet.

and yes the friended person is jsut a m**on and isnt worth the time of day

Thanks @outlander ,it's the fact that you let those b******* in, that makes you sick and you ignored the signs.You can get better, or learn to live with it.I admire those who had a moment of enlightenment", never had it,wish I could say I did.

You do deserve it outlander,you sound like you have a good heart.

how the heck can i have a better life- i cant see it. @Former-Member

i cant outrun it tried that and ive tried hiding from it and ignoring it but that dont work either. the only thing left to do now is to accept this shite life.

i cant outgrow a slipped disk, scoliosis, a tendon and ligament injury that will never heal, and then theres the stupid Hpv- knowing my luck itll progress, continuous cysts.

how can i get better when im in this craphole of a house-not a home a house.

ive tried acting like im ok. im not ok. im far from it and theres nothing i can do about it

I gave up getting counseling outlander as stated after 4 years, because I realised my problems were my reality.My then idiot of a mental health nurse when I said this stated it's the depression talking.I think I was right,it's my reality.When I had enough of the psychologists I was seeing last year I kind of realised I had to accept it,not fight it as a way of giving in.I can't decide which one is better.

Some people,are better at covering it up outlander,we are not,what you see with me is what you get.Just give it a go outlander, despite your ailments. Talk tomorrow 🙋