when is it time for hospital

Hi @Owlunar@Former-Member
thank you both for your responses
im trying to listen the loveley friend s on here I know what I should be doing but I cant seem to do it. I just think 4 weeks is way too long. I get a wekk I think I could make a week work but not 4. I think they only way id stay 4 weeks and that would be if I was put in invulntarily
I want to do go and I know that I need the help but im greatly affected by the responsibilities I have and not being able to just up and leave.
I know my middle sister oculd help but thats how it starts. Thats part of my anxiety that they will have to go through wat im going through and thats not what id want.

I dont get it- if t was my middle sister or my yongest sister goimg through this then there wouldnt be an questions asked except when can they get into the progam

but instead all I get is arguments which make me feel worse and get called a psychopath.

I event ried to explain to her about the severity, I said I lay a wak most of the night making sure my sisters are breathing and thats just a tad of it.

I said my psych and gp have offered to anser any questions you might have and she said why ad I said because I dont think you realsie its this severe. She growled at me.

How old are these little sisters-- they are 14 and 6 @Owlunar xx

Lots of hugs - I wish I was your mother - I would be encouraging you to find your feet in the world -- me tooo @outlander

hugs @Shaz51

I feel so empty inside
words can not describe
all the time we fight
nothings ever right
I hurt my self to ease the pain
you look at me and think im insane
if you look at my scars you wil see
but you still wont see me
I cant deal with life its getting so hard
im broken and scarred
everything I have done wrong
I thinks its easier if im gone
im your greatest regret

hi @Former-Member

i have had the thought but i cant afford it

i dont really mind caring for my pop. its not that, its the rest of the responsibilities.

and im also scared that if i move out the responsibilities will be put onto my middle sister and thats how it started for me only i started when i was alot younger than my middle sister.

im trying to live but not allow the same things that happened to me happen to my sisters. it is a massive fear and its a major trigger for my anxiety

sorry @Former-Member it was setting my anxiety off abit

not your fault- its me

uhh i dont really know- i want to kinda do the 4 week program but i dont know what to do. i jsut need a break. i think id be happy to checking into a hotel for a few days by myself

I feel so empty inside
words can not describe
all the time we fight
nothings ever right
I hurt my self to ease the pain
you look at me and think im insane
if you look at my scars you wil see
but you still wont see me
I cant deal with life its getting so hard
im broken and scarred
everything I have done wrong
I thinks its easier if im gone
im your greatest regret

I try my best
not to be selfish, to keep my secret hidden
and just let them rest
wipe away those tears before they come near
must hide these feelings of fear
I can never tell them how I feelingsto them the happiness is real
im happy and smiling but my soul is dying
all I feel is pain
and the looks I get are full of shame
I dont know why I complain
casue im the only one to blame

this is in regards to my mother and my life atm