Focussing on the positives-

Have to cry in secret around here @Former-Member, my darling cant cope if ever I cry. I even got in trouble for crying when my Dad died. Have had to learn to cry on the inside.

Cry on the run @Determined .... and in the rain ... and in the shower .... like the rest of us when we need to ....

💜

I do some of my best crying in the shower. Can highly recommend it. You can make noise and it's soothing at the same time @Faith-and-Hope @Determined @Former-Member.

It's really important to cry when we need to @Determined Otherwise the tension builds and the mind overloads which can lead to anger outbursts and depression. I understand that you do not want to upset your wife but sometimes we have to do what is good for us too - which is sometimes having a good healthy cry. Please remember your welfare is important too and our nearest and dearest need to realise this and that we are human also.

In some other cultures when life adversity strikes, both male and females will wail openly and grieve out loud. I think they have the right idea. They have lower depression rates etc as a result because they don't bottle things up.

Positive for today

House sitter while not staying will come and feed the animals of a night time. I have taken a puppy that has been causing problems and told my sister she needs to arrange a friend to come get the 2 she wants to keep or I will take them to the pound. Amazing how quickly they were able to sort it out when I topd them that, should have been done before they left.

I dont blame the house sitter for wanting to go. What she committed to and what is being expected of her are 2 completly different things. Completly unacceptable and I am embarassed to be connected with it.

Just so grateful that she is able to continue to help with a modified arrangement.

Not sure if making my mother and sister cry with an unfortunate outburst and explanation on what I thought of the situation was well done. But at least there is a compromise that requires limited input from me. Called them on the phone and let them have it after the house sitter explained her side of the story. I don't regret the message but deeply regret the delivery.

Worst of all the children were upset and scared seeing me so angry 😡

Stress of all this has put darling back to where she was before she last went to hospital and it could have all been avoided. Well and truly over all the unrealistic expectations, just want to live my life with my family. (That includes my Darling and children). If everyone else can bu##er off and leave us alone that would suit me great.

Potential rift between mum and I over this. Going to have to explain a few things to her when she gets back.