Grief & loss - may be triggering

@Former-MemberI hope fb contact with your estranged sister goes well.

@Former-MemberThat sounds distressing to have someone close believe that they're in danger like that. You too @Former-Member, by the sound of it.

I semi-frequently feel that I'm in danger (I don't verbalise it) - mostly that's my traum (PTSD) responses, & maybe a slight bit of paranoia. Not a nice feeling.

I've been into the city for my psych appointment today (Saturday), that takes up a lot of the day. Now it's mid-late afternoon already, & I don't have any energy for doing my aviaries (birds) & grocery shopping, etc. Feeling stuffed & very sore.

My yoga class early this morning made me much sorer, aches in all my joints - I still love yoga though, I won't stop going. It's actually my main social contact (although brief) as well.

My psych gave me homework, to keep working on ways to actually enjoy being at home by myself - & to find ways to relax, instead of constantly pushing myself to do tasks etc.

That's because being at home is actually frequently triggering for me (feels very isolating), & I rarely enjoy it or relax (all weekend).

I find myself drained by constant thoughts of "what I should be doing" (maintenance & house tasks), even when I am unable to do them right now.

Yes my grief is still there, it just doesn't come out or find expression very well (or often). Grief has stayed somewhat frozen ever since my Mum & brothers refused to even speak of Dad (virtually), soon after he died last year.

I need to talk about Dad with people (especially with those who knew him), in order to work through it. Writing in my journal is not the same - & very little about Dad comes out when I do try to write.

I'm getting interview by the university grief study lady next week, to see if I qualify for the study. So we'll see how that goes.

Adge

How lovely to read that someone thought my suggestion worthwhile.

I am so pleased that I found this site.

talking to likeminded people, who are not judgemental, in fact quite the opposite is a blessing.

we are able to give and feel valued.

so many groups of friendship so hard to find in the outside frantic world we live in.

plese keep me uptodate re briefcase mp scenario @TAB

@Former-Member yes you are spot on with schizophrenia symptoms and paranoia.

breaks my heart when I read how distressed he is. I checked in on him re Skype messaging...this is our form of communication. He told me that he contacted a few friends via Internet. They were able to offer support and reassure him. He has contacted so many people in authority.

hope that your brother can experience some peaceful moments also.

@Adgework places can have much to answer for. They wonder why there is such a high staff turnover. They lose in the long run. When I found myself in awful situations at work I played the game up to a limit and refused to lower my principles and values.

try to find time for something that you enjoy. I think I read that you enjoy your birds. Always rewarding spending time with animals, birds etc.

I am still overseas. I use my iPad for Skype. Other son exchanges messages via messenger on Facebook.So when having personal space and quiet time I sometimes come on here. Feel supported and like to give support also.

take care lovely people xxx

@Adge@TAB@Former-Member

you are safe to write about whatever you like on here.I have a thread that I started circle of trust.

I hide out there sometimes and just put my thoughts out. Sometimes worry about it after. Always nice when someone finds you and responds.

many thanks again @Former-Member

Hello @TAB

@I can't find sleeping too much thread. Perhaps it has been closed.

@TAB

Pleased to hear that you are following through.

very important for our mental health and wellbeing.

those who don't respond just send a follow up with a statement that as they haven't responded will seek answers from opposition. That usually wakes them up. This is their role to listen to the voices of the people.

@Former-Member@TABYes it is nice when someone finds what you've written, & responds.

That's why I started this thread - because I've had no real outlets for my grief (loss).

I could not usually manage to get any responses on other threads.

There are other grief threads, but they don't seem very active at the moment.

I have very low energy (especially in recent weeks) - my sleep apnea which causes severe fatigue seems to have worsened. I'm developing other health problems that I never had before.

So it's quite an effort to write - which explains why I'm unable to be active on more than one or two threads (topics) at the same time.

Adge