Difficulty telling people how I really feel.

Lol, I am a much wiser woman now!

There are a few interesting developments..... the community group I was in are at a kind of stalemate. No-one has called a meeting for months and time is getting away from us.... I think there are around 4 committee members left, but none of them have come forward to call a new meeting or do anything at all. None of them have resigned, either.

The big problem for me is that I actually managed to fund-raise a lot of money and now it is just sitting there..... I will have to work out what to do with it, which means I need the committee to meet at some point... so I am in limbo, the group is in limbo, no-one is in charge any longer.... no-one seems to care.

There is one woman who I only know in passing who has agreed to meet with me - she was not involved in our community group but has had experience running a co-op in the same type of situation/area of work. I am going to ask her if she knows of anyone who would be willing to step in and be the chairperson of my former group.... someone who is really interested and not just a talker.

It's hard to expalin here- but the group has a lot of assets which will go to waste if they are not used.... it's an amazing opportunity for someone who is very assertive and and willing.

I met with the lady.... she was very nice... we had some great conversation - I feel she could even become a friend. Who knows? I won't count my chickens before they hatch.

But as far as my ex-community group goes.... nothing doing, I'm afraid. She does not know of anyone who could help.

I think I just need some closure with this damn group!!

I see I will have to eventually work out a way to get all the funds back to those who donated... a very time-consuming task ahead of me. But not impossible.

I will have to chalk it up to experience, as they say.

I'm having a lot of anxiety lately. Some of it has to do with the community group and some of it is to do with other stuff.... like my Dad being sick.

The mornings are the best.... I don't feel as anxious in the mornings, for some reason. It's such a peaceful time.

I wonder what I really hoped to achieve with the community group and why in the end, it had the power to get me so down? I suppose I thought I could achieve a sense of belonging in this community? That I would meet like-minded people and that they would be encouraging and supportive?

But the opposite happened... I met supposedly like-minded people and I felt I had to 'look after' them. I had to do things for them, because they were too busy and distracted to do stuff for themselves. Then I just felt kind of 'used' by them. Of course, the alternative was that I could have chosen not to do anything for them, but then the group would have failed straight up! Why was I so determined that the group should continue?

I know this is all about me and not about them. They have no idea how I felt. Except for that one lady who I emailed- she knew, but she didn't care how I felt! She was just annoyed.

Now I really do woner if I were trying to create some kind of alternative family for myself? With people who I assumed were like-minded but who were actually just average people with nothing much to tie them together????

I just hope we can wrap things up fairly quickly and I can move on.

Morning @Sahara ...;; 💐

Hi ther @Faith-and-Hope.

how are you going this morning? The sun is up and I am always up with the sun....

Not too bad @Sahara, thanks 💕

In Melb at the moment, but headed back to WA tomorrow, then into some new, and possibly, hardest yards ..... WH and I are headed for counselling .... watch this space .... 😒

Can't speak up about dilution all behaviours n stuff in front of him cos he has no insight into being unwell .... and we have to be able to manage an outbreak of aggression at home ....

Sittin' on a barbed wire fence here .... it's going to be charades and saying-but-not-saying ..... and I'm not very good at that .....

So ..... going out to find some coffee and breakfast for my last day here and not going to worry about it for now .... parking all that up for when I get back home.

@Faith-and-Hope,

that sounds very difficult for you.... it's hard being in a relationship where the other person has no insight into what the problems are. That is very difficult and frustrating to manage.

I have been there. In my case, I left that person (just like I left my group- ) but not everyone wants to leave or nescessarily should leave... it is an individual thing to decide. xxxx

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

All the best returning to WA - I know you are in for an interesting time - I will be watching this space to see what's happening

I don't get notifications now so please let me know what thread you will be posting on so I can find you

It has to be so hard when WH has no insight into his condition and yet feels so superior about it - and harder still with S2 and D3 battling also

Wow - sitting on a barbed wire fence - I get that - and I have to get coffee as well - I am so glad you are going back to where the time is more likely to be normal than around here - I am totally out of sync with the clocks going forward so early - I guess our public holiday prompted that one

All the best and sending more love and prayers to go with your faith and hope

Dec