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outlanderSenior Contributor
hi @Mazarita @Owlunar @Former-Member @Adge @Spookytookims @CheerBear @Former-Member @Shaz51
i was lil-caterpillar
im back..... i think.....
im just treading very very lightly at the moment
but id like to let you know that i have read what you wrote on my other threads and i appreciate your kind words and for thinking of me even after i left here 
In response to: im back..... i think
OwlunarSenior Contributor
Hi @outlander
It seems you have a lot of people on board helping you here - one really good thing about the Forum Family
If you were abused when you were young there could be damage and yes - STDs - though I am sure they would have showed up by now - but checking all this out at this stage should be something on your back-burner but still there - if that makes sense
Your breast does seem to have a leak - it doesn't sound like a scary lump - though of course the situation is scary. I did a short course in Self Breast Examination years ago and dangersous breast lumps don't behave like that - and maybe that cream can help - but I guess that's a wait-and-see situation
Yes - I am here - but keep falling asleep - yesterday was busy and I feel tired today -
But yes - I am here
Dec
In response to: im back..... i think
OwlunarSenior Contributor
@outlander wrote:
I have successfully been sh free for a whole month AND i successfully completed the suicide prevention program 😏😏😏
Oh wow!! @outlander - that sound pretty positivie and something to be proud of - thanks for telling us that
Dec
In response to: im back..... i think
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: im back..... i think
OwlunarSenior Contributor
It's really good to know I am someone's special person @outlander - as you are one of mine
A man has no idea how he hurts a woman when he is rough with her - it is something to get checked out
It's interesting watching you turn from a little mouse into a woman ready to grasp the nettle with these scary issues - I am proud of you - talking and sharing certainly help
I am pleased - I got 10/10 in today's Fun Trivia Quiz - and I am really drowsy - I am busy patting myself on the back
Dec
In response to: Re: im back..... i think
outlanderSenior Contributor
yes im hoping to never go back to my old habits ever @Owlunar and my next goal is 2 months and so on and hopefully be a past memory eventually though i know those scars wont go they will fade
oh yes @Owlunar you are most certainly one of my special people
yes i dont think they have feelings on pain only what satisifies them when they are in their own mood. a few of the times i didnt want to move i was completely paralyzed by fear and then would walk funny and be in pain for a day or so. its like trygin to fit a large square into small triangle- it just doesnt work like that or that eas. i think some of the time it was enjoyment seeing me in pain maye it made him feel better about himselfi definently done think im transforming yet- im still a very tiny little mouse cowering in the corner
wow that is really great results consider it another pat on the back from me too. thats awesome!
In response to: Re: im back..... i think
outlanderSenior Contributor
@Faith-and-Hope feel free to add your thoughts in too
oh and i seen that massive lsit of self care activities, even the small things seem to be impossile but i guess if you get into a routine it becomes a nautural thing for us hey
In response to: im back..... i think
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: im back..... i think
OwlunarSenior Contributor
Hi @outlander
I have an opinion that men who abuse women and then get some feeling of power seeing them hurt have a very small image of themselves that needs constant self-bolstering for them to feel "big" and "strong" and no woman deserves that.
It's good to here you have no intention of going back to old self-defeating behaviour - life is many things and one of them is a learning curve - boy - have I experienced the learning curve!!
Now and again I remember something I did when I was younger - how silly that was - or how childish - but I learned.
So when I think on these things - I can tell they were all part of me learning to be an adult - and that learning is less intensive but it still continues
All the best with your new routines and self-care
Dec
In response to: Re: im back..... i think
outlanderSenior Contributor
@Owlunar
yeah im starting to think the same way as that @Owlunar they must feel so insecure about themselves to ahve to target people becasue they arent' getting it' enough for them and so they want more power. abusing someone without their consent i dont see as strong or powerful. why does that person have to hold down someone to get what they want rather than working out their own issues.
im sure you have experienced many many things yourself in this lifetime, some the same as me others differerent but thats what makes us who we are i guess.
i dont really know who id be if these things didnt happen to me, i defienently probably wouldnt have a good heart or resilience to bounce back either.
In response to: Re: im back..... i think
outlanderSenior Contributor
@Faith-and-Hope your routine now is probably considered more normal to you now rather than self care..? do you ever feel like you might need to change it up abit so its not routine and more of something you really enjoy?
im glad your still standing too, your a good person too, who deserves support, understanding and care as well
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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