Safety

@Eden1919 @Sans911 It seems like you are both having a tough day also. I am not much help at the moment but I am thinking of you both and hoping for a little light in your lives...

Zoe

@Zoe7 thanks

I am feeling even worse now though which is not good.

Hello @Eden1919

Sorry to hear that you are feeling even worse of late, what are you up too today? Is there anyone that you can talk to about this? Or anything that can do to try to relax?

Lunar

@Former-Member Thanks for replying. I saw my caseworker again she wants to see me again soon she said she was worried. I dont know what to do i told her a bunch of stuff i shouldnt have told her and now she wants to talk about it more next time only i really dont think i can and i really dont feel good and my mood is all over the place and i dont even know how i feel and i want to scream and i just i need to fix things but i cant now because i may have just ruined everything i cant seem to calm down i really dont know what to do.

I really do not feel very good for some reason i feel very rejected too like nobody gives a damn about me maybe they dont either way i suppose it doesnt matter anymore i am too tired to really care.

oh dear things are not good right now at all I am kind of freaking out and even though i know no one is probably going to respond i need to get something out of me. only problem is i dont know what other than my huge mistake today ugh speaking of which did i mention i am doomed literally she might even tell the doctor what i said how can i know. i cant that is half the probllem but if she tells them i am even more doomed not to mention she wants to talk more about it all my head is already spinning very fast and this is not helping i really dont know what to do i screwed up so so badly maybe ugh i cant take this. and why did i have to be so stupid i felt bad because i wanted to talk about it but now i realise it was all a trick but you cant untrick yourself it doesnt work that way and now what do i do i am super agitated and really parnoid and what if ugh now i have some very bad thoughts coming in too. very VERY BAD THOUGHTS!!! i dont know what to do with them i feel very stuck and scared and tired but not tired but i really hvent been sleeping much at all. and i wnt to cry but i dont and something keeps happening but i dont know what to explian it and i am trying really hard to ignore it but maybe i shouldnt maybe i should just do something very bad and then they will all leave me alone and then everything will be destroyed but then again maybe i shouldnt do that because of the people i care about but what am i supposed to do i was silly and opened a stupid portal and let a whole bunch of them in but idk how to make them all go back it is harder at nights because they all like the darkness it is where they lurk and dog sometimes keeps me safe but other time dog does not. i am sorry if this makes no sense to you it probably wont if you are still even reading or if you even began to read in the first place but it makes sense in my head and in my reality but how do i explain that to them sometimes i want to cross over to the other side the bad side but then i know once i go there i cant come back and it is scary and dangerous there and i think i would not like it once i got there and this is getting really long but brace yourselves there may be a part 2.

@Eden1919 Strength, Courage, Belief - I care

PART 2

ok sorry this is getting so long but i need it all out of me the things from the dark want to hurt me and i am scared lately them have been getting more intrusive and more intense and i dont think this is just an interest in the supernatural anymore because i can feel them all have you ever felt something so dark and malicious and benevolent that it made you shake i have and it is horrible you can feel them breathing or sometimes they touch you on the head like a pat on the head only it is unwanted and they do horrible things they go inside other people and you can see it in their eyes teasing me taunting me trying to scare me i try to be strong because they feed off fear but that is hard when there are so many of them i want to run and hide but they follow me around and there is only one safe place until the dark goes away which is hard because there are not many places to go when they come out. sometimes they whisper but it is hard because i dont want to hear it but last time i told them to go away they started to whisper into my ears again and i didnt like it i dont like them but they seem to like me or well they like my soul any way. it is also hard because sometimes i can feel peoples souls like i can feel them like everything else as well like even the trees have one they are each different each tree has a different soul and i can feel them all sometimes the feelings are good someties they are bad but i can feel them all the same i am supposed to act normal around everyone so they dont freak out but this all makes so much sense and i cant deny it because it is all very real and how come everythime ugh not that is not true there is one person who believes me but i am too scared to tell them what is hapeining because they would never go into the ohter worlds with me they are too scared although i dont blame them i am scared too of the other worlds especially incase i got stuck there ugh i want to scream this is all so frustrating and difficult what am i meant to do i dont know anymore. i am supposed to follow god he is supposed to help me but he is often busy and communications can be slow and difficult to read with him but that is ok i understand ugh why d my head so full i am going to stop here for now but there may even be a part 3 we will see.

I dont know if i can do this