Safety

@Eden1919 the only thing I have found helpful in this situation is to be on here. It helps me when I know people are listening and sitting with me. I don't even need to necessarily talk but if I do there are people around that will listen no matter how I am feeling.

Hi @Eden1919,

When I feel like that, I lie on the floor or in my bed. While I am there I might lie still and focus on my breathing, or listen to calm music or cry or rock or scream into my pillow. I remind myself that the thoughts and feelings are only thoughts and feelings. The feelings super super hurt, but they won't k*ll me and I know from about a million previous experiences that they will pass. I don't try to fight against the thoughts and feelings, I just let them wash over me like giant waves. Indeed, if you search the forums for "riding a wave" you will see that sometimes I post here about when I'm having those thoughts and feelings. I find it helps to know that someone has heard me. It helps me to feel less alone.

Are you feeling unsafe right now @Eden1919?

i am not feeling very safe at the moment i am supposed to be seeing my psychologist tomorrow so i am trying to wait it out until then but idk i guess i will see how i go. i am just so scared and sad and everything is a mess hurting myself is all i can think about.

As @Phoenix_Rising has already said @Eden1919 these feelings are painful and can be totally consuming. It is great that you are seeing your psychologist tomorrow and if you need us to 'wait it out' alongside you then we are here for you. Being scared, sad and hurting is a horrible place to be and I get that you can't see the other side when you feel like this. That is when I allow others to sit with me just so I know I am not alone - so if you need me to sit with you I am here

It is hard @Eden1919 because the overwhelming feelings that you are experiencing hurt so much. That is ok because you are feeling. I did not cry for years - I couldn't - I didn't want to 'feel' and crying would mean I was feeling. It is a defence mechanism to protect yourself from further pain but it does suck!

You can hold on because I am here to hold your hand, sit beside you,listen and assure you that you are not alone - for however long you need

@Eden1919 I know how hard it can be to keep on holding on sometimes. When you say you are struggling with feelings of wanting to hurt yourself, do you mean you are having thoughts of suicide or thoughts of non-suicidal SH? I know a lot of people find it helpful to hold icecubes when they are having thoughts of SH. The idea is that holding the icecubes is painful, thus producing some of the same effects as SH but without causing any actual injury. Have you ever tried this?