Safety

I just dont know if i have that kind of hope anymore.

Hi @Eden1919,

I'm sorry to hear that you feel as though you are drowning instead of swimming at the moment. I am around this afternoon for support if you feel you need/want it.

What distractions have you tried so far today?

@Former-Member I have tried writing in my journal, watching tv, listening to music, playing with dog, going for a walk, cooking, spending time with people and other things nothing is working though i just dont know what to do anymore I am trying so hard but i am so scared and i honestly dont even know if i can make it through the night.

I've bipolar, so I can empathise to some extent with what you are feeling. Hope is something that yes, is hard to hold onto, it just doesn't seem realistic or we feel we don't deserve it, deserve any sort of positive future. But it's not true. Your mind is lying to you, depression lies. Behind the depression is the person you have always been, a person that is not only deserving of hope, but also warmth, love and tender affection. Depression is the enemy, not life.

What have you done in the past when you have felt like this?

To be honest the only thing that is helping at the moment is SH

@Eden1919 Hi buddy. I'm around and still here - thanks in part to you helping me last night. You can do this - we both can - we have proved it time and time again - no matter how low we are or how hopeless it seems - you did for me last night what I have been doing for you some nights - now it's time to repay the favour again. You let me talk, you listened and you heard - that meant so much to me - now I am here to listen to you.

Strength, Courage, Belief - these are our words Eden - you got this buddy...

Zoe

@Zoe7 I am still really really parniod and tonight is going to be really hard I am supposed to see my caseworker and psychologist tomorrow but I am scared my caseworker nearly sent me to hospital last time and i am scared this time she will I dont even know what to do i am trying so hard but i cant make it all stop and I feel like i dont have a choice anymore it is hard to explain i just i cant take this anymore and they will never stop ever i cant get away form them and i am about to cry and I just there is too much in my head and i am all shaky and everything is scaring me again and my head wont stop i cat take it i cant i wnt to scream.

It sounds like things have gotten to a place where you're unsure as to whether you can make it through the night @Eden1919. Would you consider coming onto our online 'chat' or even giving us a call to help you through this time?

@Former-Member i am nott good with phone calls. I am supposed to ring my caseworker if i feel bad but i am too scared. right now all I want to do is cry and hide and scream where no one can hear me so i wont bother them. I am so tired but i am too scared to sleep and everything inside me is screaming and i dont know what to do i cant think and i just really feel hopeless.

Hey @Eden1919 You always get really paranoid and scared before you meet your caseworker and/or psychologist. I get a bit the same. It is the 'not knowing what is going to happen feeling' that takes over and sends our anxiety sky high. This is a common reaction - a mixture of nerves, our own vulnerabilities and fears. You can get through this Eden - and I will be here for as long as I can tonight with you buddy.

...and if you want to scream them grab your pillow and scream into it