Safety

@Zoe7 Thanks

@CherryBomb I just replied.

Today is not good I feel really weird and all over the place and i am so so so scared and I want to scream. i cant make it stop i dont know how much is left in my or maybe there is too much in me I dont know how to describe it at all. I am trying but like everything is just really all over the place and there is too much noise and yet i want noise i didnt get to sleep until nearly 6am and i tried to sleep in but i didnt get much and i am scared and i dont know what to do anymore and i cant take this but at the same time i just ugh i cant explain it but i want to but i cant and it is frustrating. I am holding it all inside but i know if i stop doing that it feels better but i cant or i am scared i will end up in hospital again and ugh i dont know how i feel and it is really nnoying my head hurts and i want to do stuff what i dont know i kind of want to paint but i dont have the stuff i need and they are going to be mad at me when i see them and i dont want to go but i have to or they will know and then that would be even worse and i am scared of them and ugh i want to freaking scream I am not mad at anyone here i am just really agitated and i cant stop it.

Hi @Eden1919,

How are things? From your post, it seems like things were going around in whirlwind of emotions for you.

Hope you're doing ok...

Did you manage to get some painting done?

@CherryBomb Things are not good at all. I still feel terrible I cant even begin. i didnt get to paint today either.

I dont feel good I am supposed to be seeing my psychiatrsit today and i am super nervous they will want to talk about my meds and i dont want to everyone wants me on meds but i dont want them I dont want those sorts of chemicals in my body they are bad for you physically and i am living proof of that. plus over all i feel better off the meds anyway. ugh this is so incredibly frustrating I dont know what to do. I am supposed to be seeing my new case worker too this is so stressful.

Hi @Eden1919,

If you feel that way about meds it might actually be a good thing to have a frank and open conversation with your psych about it. You and your psych might be willing to explore other appropriate solutions 🙂

@NotLabelDefined Last time I tried to have that conversation with them I ended up on a 6 month treatment order so i am not exactly sure what to do anymore I am scared I will end up on another one.

Hi @Eden1919,

I can totally understand why you feel a bit uncertain and scared about the whole issue. Although they did put you on a CTO last time, it doesnt mean they will this time, especially if they are aware that you have been feeling better without the meds.

Alternatively, maybe a slightly different approach this time could be helpful? When they put you on a CTO last time do you remember how you approached it? (by suggesting a change of approach im definitely not suggesting it was anybody's fault, but a different approach might change the way they respond to your concerns)???

Another option might be to see a different psych (if you feel unhappy with your current psych)

@NotLabelDefined Last time they kind of got me to talk about things i shouldnt have and then lied about what i said to get the order made. so this time i am just not going to say anything. I am hoping this time is different but I am also looking for a new psych anyway it is just taking a while.