sad&stuck

Having a slightly better night so far than last night. My partner is home with me and I am finding having music on, watching partner play a game on the ps4 and these forums are good distractions. I am slightly anxious that he can get called into work at any moment and just hope if that happens I wont get distressed like i usually do.

Is anyone around

Hmm, yep It's one of those nights. Feeling alone, worthless, notgood enough.Tired of it all. Worried about the week ahead.

Dozing on and off here @STORMGRL101 .... so I had better go to sleep, but sending you a hug ....

Thanks for the hug I needed it. Sleep well @Faith-and-Hope
I hope to sleep soon if my mind will let me.

I'm with my parents and baby nephew today but I just feel so damn tired. Tired of pretending I'm ok when I'm not. But I don't want them to know I'm not doing ok because that just makes me feel worse and guilty. i don't want to pass my pain onto them but really just want to disappear. Mmmmm yes I want to be around to see my nephew grow up but it's so damn hard battling through each day.

@STORMGRL101 I hear what you are saying and feel for you so much. It is the dilemma we seem to face constantly - we put on our mask that says to everyone that we are ok and that everything is ok but underneath it is a very different story. Then we are stuck between allowing others in to our pain and knowing that our pain will also cause others concern/pain and that in turn weighs heavily on us. It does feel like a no win situation most of the time. The downside to thinking of others is that we do infact put ourselves and our own health and needs last - this in itself is not a healthy outcome but one that we do see as necessary to not make things even more complicated for ourselves- a true dilemma and a true barrier to finding a healthier and more fulfilled life for ourselves. And yes it is very hard to battle through each day and to keep going but the alternative also seems impossible.

Hearing you @STORMGRL101 and listening...

Zoe

Hi @STORMGRL101

that must be so difficult for you

I can hear what you are saying, but also believe that in the long run this approach will only add further to your overall mood/mental health.

Perhaps you could start the conversation with, 'Im afraid of telling you how I feel because... (I'm worried it will bring you down). Otherwise how will they really know? Truth be known they're probably afraid to bring it up for fear of making you feel worse.

I hope you come up with a way to broach the subject.

Best

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @-karma-

I appreciate your replies.its helpful to know I'm not alone

still feeling bad. Head hurts, chest feels heavy, wanted to cry earlier but held it in and now I can't cry even though I want to. I wish these thoughts would go away...distract... still here. Tired. Need some relief. Hiding under blankets.